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Step 1
Look for color. True Goths bathe themselves in black clothing and nothing else. They may possess their own unique style, but it won't include any colors of the rainbow. They also enjoy indulging in medieval-inspired clothing, such as corsets, fishnet stockings and bondage attire.
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Step 2
Check the make-up. A true Goth always wears make-up, including black eyeliner and black lipstick. They may also use white powder to give a pale appearance. Their hair is dyed black to coordinate with their clothing, although a few extraneous dark purple streaks in the hair are deemed acceptable.
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Step 3
Identify their art form. A true Goth is an artist and performs an art of some sort. True Goths are writers, musicians, folklorists, sculptors and painters. They rely on deep introspection to arouse their creativity.
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Step 4
Quiz them on lyrics. A true Goth knows every word to every Cure song. This step weeds out the Goth posers each and every time.
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Step 5
Ask them if they are Goth. A true Goth never labels themselves as being Goth. In fact, true Goths never label themselves at all. Only Goth posers make such ridiculous assertions.
Comments
darkgothcutie said
on 7/5/2008 wow i feel sorry for this lady....get her a book on what it REALLY means to be a goth
morgueana said
on 7/5/2008 Wow, I'm not a true Goth afterall. Spmeone please strip me of all my Goth points, confiscate my cd collection and send me back to the kinder-garden... . lol.
1) I seem to have misplaced my medieval fishnets...
2) ohno! I was seen in public without my eyeliner! and I wore hot pink lipstick last week! *hangs head in shame*
3) apparently, I should change my major to 'folklorist', since my oceanography class isn't cutting it..
4) I don't own every cure albumn.. have you heard wild mood swings?
5) and ooops, I accidentally accepted the fact that I was a Goth in the early 90's. Note to self, DENY DENY DENY! you won't be cool if you accept yourself!
morgueana said
on 7/5/2008 Wow, I'm not a true Goth afterall. Spmeone please strip me of all my Goth points, confiscate my cd collection and send me back to the kinder-garden... . lol.
1) I seem to have misplaced my medieval fishnets...
2) ohno! I was seen in public without my eyeliner! and I wore hot pink lipstick last week! *hangs head in shame*
3) apparently, I should change my major to 'folklorist', since my oceanography class isn't cutting it..
4) I don't own every cure albumn.. have you heard wild mood swings?
5) and ooops, I accidentally accepted the fact that I was a Goth in the early 90's. Note to self, DENY DENY DENY! you won't be cool if you accept yourself!
BeccaNorth said
on 6/24/2008 erm, i have to disagree with your article. most of the Goths that I know, as well as myself, declare that we are infact Goths, becuase we a rare and dying breed. None of us wear black lipstick and many of us wear colours. this is a joke. This is just another poser article, 'oooh, wear black and look dead'. so goth! do some actual researh first, ask actual Goths what they class as Goth before you subject the human race with it.
SleepyShadow said
on 3/27/2008 I agree with you on all but step 4. Using the band Cure as a way to tell if someone is 'goth' or not is just as rediculous as using any other band. Just because someone listens to Cure does not make them 'goth', and just because someone can be labeled 'goth' does not mean they listen to Cure. Your lyrics method is a joke. One of the main points of 'gothdome' is individuality. Thinking that all goths memorize, much less even listen to, Cure songs is absolutely rediculous.