How to Forgive Someone Without Using Religion

Whether it's a recent argument or a situation that's been around for years, deciding to forgive someone for hurting you is difficult. However, besides the health benefits that come from living without stress and bitterness, letting go and forgiving people who have hurt you is an emotionally freeing feeling.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Understand that forgiving someone gives you permission to move beyond the offense. Holding onto condemnation is oftentimes only hurting yourself. Many times, the offender has no idea they've hurt you, or they've already moved beyond it.

2. Decide what you want the outcome of your forgiveness to be. If you want to repair the damaged relationship, talk to the person who's hurt you so the two of you can move beyond it together. If it's not a relationship you want to further pursue, communication isn't necessary.

3. Choose to forgive them. Mentally say something to yourself similar to, "I decide to no longer hold on to this hurt emotion or bitterness. I decide to move past this offense for my own emotional well-being."

4. Continue the practice of forgiveness. Many times after you make the initial decision to forgive someone, you are still haunted by memories of either the person who hurt you or the situation that brought about the hurt. When these memories come to mind, remind yourself that you have decided to move past this, and redirect your thoughts to more positive memories. With time, the hurtful memories will fade.

Tips & Warnings

• If you're wanting to forgive someone from a serious offense, such as adultery, physical abuse or sexual abuse, please seek professional help. A counselor can further help you work on your past situations and find healing.