How to Fake a Fever With a Thermometer

As long as there's school, kids will be trying to get out of going by playing sick. Whether because of a big test, having to face a crush or just because the lunch is kind of gross, if one is going to skip school, you must do it convincingly. Here is how to fake a fever with a thermometer. (And what to watch for if you are a parent.)

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Thermometer (old school with mercury, if possible)

1. Keep it a secret from your parents. This is of course the biggest step because the moment they are onto you and your "sickness" is in question, they will surely watch every moment of that thermometer being in your mouth. Build trust or create opportunity by retreating to the bathroom. Saying you feel as if you are going to throw up is a great way to lock yourself in the bathroom, where you will now have access to a multitude of things that will overheat the thermometer.
2. Hold the thermometer near a lightbulb. Be careful not to overheat the thermometer as a lightbulb will definitely get hotter than 104 degrees (which would make it seem as if you were dying). About 101 degrees is a nice, safe temperature. It should reach that in a few minutes.
3. Run the thermometer under water. This is more effective for a battery-operated thermometer. This way you can control the temperature, so if your first reading is too high, simply add a little cold water into the mix.
4. Place the thermometer under a heating pad. One great thing about moms is that they always have those little home remedies that make being sick a little more pleasant. Mention to your parents that you have the chills and then get the heating pad. Let that baby crank, and then place the thermometer directly against it.
5. Hide the thermometer in the oven. This is a bit of a risky venture, and not the most practical, but it does work. (Better in a toaster oven.) Set the oven for the lowest setting (usually 150 degrees) and pull the thermometer out the moment it crosses the hundred degree line.

Tips & Warnings

• To really fake your fever, throw in a good cough and a scratchy voice. Sneezes are highly effective, as well.
• Some people try to fake a fever by sticking the thermometer under their armpit. In theory, the temperature should be slightly higher in the sweat gland. Though, this tactic is a bit hit or miss.