How to Express Sympathy After a Death

Expressing sympathy after a death is a part of basic etiquette, just as you should always remember to say please and thank you. This doesn't make it any less heartfelt or meaningful, but it does help avoid hurting someone at a time of devastation.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

1. Send flowers to the funeral or memorial services. The number of flowers helps the survivors recognize how loved the departed was.

2. Attend the funeral or memorial services. Being surrounded by people who want to show their love and honor for the departed does bring comfort to the family.

3. Hug the family members. You don't have to say anything, but hugs provide comfort and express more than most people can do with words. Allow the mourning family member to end the hug. Let him get whatever comfort they can from your presence.

4. Tell the family that you're sorry for their loss and that you're sorry they're hurting.

5. Help with the chores that need to be done. Routine maintenance is the first thing to go by the wayside after the death of a loved one. By taking care of this for the family, you remove a task from their list when they aren't functioning at their best.

6. Stay in touch with the family. Most people move on autopilot during the grieving process. Just as they're learning to cope, the world returns to its normal routine, leaving the families with a huge gaping hole and no one there to help.

7. Remember the departed. Call on his birthday or anniversary. The surviving family is hurting on such days. Hearing from you with a message of love and support will help them through a difficult day.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid saying that there must have a reason for the death, or indicate that the mourner will find another spouse or have another child. Such words are hurtful and offer no comfort, only more pain.