How to Convince a Relative to Leave an Abusive Husband

According to the American Institute on Domestic Violence, millions of women are abused every year by their boyfriends or husbands. If one of your relatives is a victim of abuse, you may wonder why she doesn't leave. Many women hesitate to leave an abusive husband for a number of reasons. However, there are steps you can take to convince your relative she needs to leave for her safety, sanity and self-respect.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Listen to her fears. Determine if she has financial worries or concerns about her safety if she leaves. Address each fear, and help her find a solution. Discuss legal resources, such as restraining orders or getting child support.
2. Tell her what the abuse has done to her. She may need someone else to tell her how she has changed and how her self-respect is being hurt. Give her examples of how the abuse is impacting her life. If she has children, tell her how the abuse may hurt them.
3. Help her to understand she is not at fault. An abusive husband may convince the victim everything is her fault. Between the abuse and low self-esteem, she may believe him. Reassure her that he is at fault, and no one has the right to abuse another person.
4. Ask what she needs from you. She may need you to help her pack up her belongings or watch her children. Being in an abusive relationship has likely damaged her ability to trust. Tell her you will be there for emotional support and that she can count on you.
5. Find her community resources. Locate a battered women's shelter in your area. Find support groups for women dealing with an abusive husband. Give her all the information you have gathered. Knowing she has support and resources may help convince her to leave her husband.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep in mind that you can't make a relative leave an abusive husband. You can do your best to convince her and be there for her. But keep in mind, it's her decision.
• Be aware it may take time to convince your relative to leave her husband. Expect you may have to have several discussions. However, avoid constantly pressuring her to leave, which may cause her to pull away from you.
• Avoid getting angry at your relative. You may be frustrated and can't understand why she won't leave. However, be aware she is dealing with enough anger with the abuse. She needs a relative who will be calm and caring.
• Don't be judgmental. Your relative has had enough of that from her abusive partner.