How to Dress Modestly in Middle School

Middle school is the point where individual style starts to matter. This is the time when preteens must be given the chance to express themselves with their own fashion tastes but also be given limits because they are, after all, still children. At a time when today's fashions are centered around what 20-something supermodels should wear, finding modest dress for a preteen presents a challenge.

Instructions

1. Call a parent-child meeting and discuss proper attire. A good way to do this is to collect a lot of catalogs and have the preteen circle the outfits she would desire to wear. The parents can then talk about each item and what will be allowed. Make a chart with the limits: how long skirts should be and how low necklines and waistlines should be. This will save you lots of time and arguments outside the dressing room.

2. Go through your child's closet and together match up outfits that will work for school, parties, church and other events. Lay out all the acceptable outfits and have your child model his favorites. Make a mental note that these are the styles that you can use as a standard when going shopping with your preteen.

3. Talk it out. When an argument erupts over clothing, tell your child what message they are sending with a certain outfit. If a 12-year-old says she wants to dress like an 18-year-old superstar, tell her she is 12, not 18. Don't forget to talk about proper lingerie as well.

4. Shop only at stores where most of the apparel will be acceptable. This way your preteen will not even be enticed to buy something that goes beyond the set limits. This may mean your child will have to sacrifice some name-brand clothing.

Tips & Warnings

• Preteen boys are typically not as passionate about their attire as girls, but need limits as well. T-shirts with sayings are popular these days, but parents still must set limits on ones with sexual sayings or ones that market a beer product, for example. Limits should also be set on how low pants will go past the waist and when it isn't appropriate to wear muscle shirts or to go without a shirt.

• Reward your children with a shopping trip for a new outfit if after a few weeks or months, they have respected your clothing limits.

• Many organizations, such as the YMCA or the Girl Scouts, will offer workshops for preteen girls that focus on their image. Plan one as part of a slumber party or girls' night out.

• Just as preteens do, parents have different tastes in clothing. Parents in one household will set different limits than another couple. Do not judge another parent's limits, but worry instead about the children you are raising.

Resources

• Tips for parents.
• Online store with tasteful clothing.
• Online store with modest clothing.
• Patterns to sew your own modest clothes.