How to Avoid Drama With a Best Friend

Maintaining any relationship is work. Having a confidante who has walked through life's ups and downs with you is a treasure that needs some maintenance, boundaries and, foremost, respect. Take measures to protect your relationship with your best friend and ensure you avoid drama and stick together.

Instructions

1. Speak directly with your friend when you're disappointed or hurt or need resolution. Speaking to others first is unfair and leads to gossip. Always approach her first to see if you can resolve the situation. Ask your friend to do the same for you.

2. Refuse to answer to others for your best friend. Many times others will ask you questions, expecting you to answer in his absence. This might be OK for general information but not appropriate for emotions, details of relationships or anything sensitive or confidential. Ask others to speak with your best friend directly if they really want to know. Speak with your friend about what things are OK for you to answer for him if you're fielding a lot of questions about him. Tell him your list, too.

3. Be clear with each other about what type of people you're each attracted to. Talk about the possibility of dating each other's exes and how you would feel towards your best friend if she dated yours. Be really honest about your expectations. Nothing's worse than having someone come back to you with a "but you said" and you have to admit you weren't really honest. Be straight-forward the first time.

4. Set boundaries for yourself and others. You don't need to verbally communicate your list of boundaries to your friends, but you should communicate it through your actions. Let your best friend know when he's crossed the line. Have realistic expectations of both yourself and others in this regard.

Tips & Warnings

• If your best friend is of the opposite sex, make sure you're not using the "friendship" in the hope that one day you'll be more. Doing so will eventually lead to a lot of drama. If you develop feelings, find a way to deal with them or talk about them in a non-manipulative way. If this is really your best friend, you can work through this as well.

• Do your best to make sure the relationship is equal. If you talk a lot, try listening and answering questions. If you find you're always listening, speak up and be heard. This makes your friendship healthier and more balanced.

• Avoid controlling and manipulative behavior. Give your friend her freedom when doing something you don't like. If you're really life-long friends, it will work itself out in time.