Step1
Master horseback riding. All Amazons were skilled horsewomen. They hunted from horseback, they fought from horseback and they invaded from horseback. If you’re wary of horses, than you’re wary of what being Amazon is. Every historian from Herodotus to Apollonius emphasized their dependence on horses, and even their queens were always named Hippolyta, or “loose horse.”
Step2
Master weaponry. Amazons preferred the bow, the chosen weapon of the huntress, but they were also trained in sword fighting, spear throwing and shield wielding. Young Amazons were raised from birth as both athletes and warriors--the Amazons didn’t know of any other kind of childhood.
Step3
Cut off your right breast. While it’s debated whether the right breasts of Amazons were cut off or ironed down at birth, it’s clear that this self-mutilation occurred so the women could use a bow and throw a spear without obstruction. Even the name Amazon itself can mean “without breast” in Greek.
Step4
Declare war a lot. The Amazons founded a lot of towns, but they also lost a lot of battles. Still, this didn’t stop the Amazons from participating in almost every famous Greek war. The Amazons were present at Troy and they invaded Lycia. They threatened Jason, Odysseus, Hercules, Theseus and even Aeneas. They were even respected in the time of Alexander, as both women and as warriors. In the end, the Amazons didn’t really care if they would win or if they would lose as long as they were fighting someone.
Step5
Worship Artemis. The Amazons worshiped Artemis, the goddess of forests, hills and the hunt. Often seen carrying a bow and arrows, she held the deer and the cypress sacred to her heart. Artemis was, in most senses of the word, a man-hater; she vowed from childhood to remain chaste, surrounded herself with chaste women and had a habit of killing men who were too boastful or prideful, or who saw her or any of her companions naked.
Step6
Worship Ares. Ares, the god of war, is often considered to be the father of the Amazons, at least metaphorically. While they modeled their femininity after Artemis, they modeled their masculinity after Ares. Blood thirsty and war hungry, the Amazons were some of Ares’ favorite children.
Step7
Have sex once a year. In order to procreate, the Amazons would visit a neighboring tribe of men once a year. The female children were nurtured while the male children were killed, abandoned in the forest or returned to the men. The Amazons remained chaste outside of this procreation--to marry would mean domestication.
Step8
Have lesbian sex once a day. While the Amazons are often portrayed as lesbians both in popular culture and modern mythological reinterpretation, there is no evidence in history or in myth that they did in fact carry on homosexual relationships. Of course, a large group of warrior women living separate from the realm of men, returning from battle full of adrenaline and lust, is the perfect formula for rampant lesbianism.
© Xena: Warrior Princess
Novice 
