How to Make Good Excuses for not Working

Everyone needs good excuses for not working. Let's face it, nobody can work all the time. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right? So every worker has got to have some good excuses at the ready to use when goofing off, taking a day sick or for when you're late. Read on for a compilation of good excuses to tell your supervisor when you fall asleep at your desk.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper. "
4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people !"
6. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
7. "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.
8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
9. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
10. Blame lack of Coffee:
    
    "The coffee machine is broke...."
    
    "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
11. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
12. Philosophic: "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
13. Misdirection: "Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."