How to Be Confident Now

Most of us don’t take full advantage of the best weapon that we have: our bodies. Your body is the most sophisticated piece of equipment in the world and one of the things that you do, subconsciously, is filter the world through your body. Imagine you go for a jog and you see your neighbor outside washing his car. You think, “Man that John is such a good guy” as you pass him and wave. Then you continue up the block, around the bay, down through town, along the highway, back through town, swing past the bay, and back up the block. Let’s say the jog was twice as long as you normally run. You are exhausted. You are thirsty. You almost pass out. All you want to do is get back inside your place so you can get a drink of water and lie down. So you see John again and this time he is washing his wife’s car. You smirk at him and think “What a kiss ass he is to his wife. Now my significant other is going to want me to wash their car. What a jerk!” What happened? Did anything change about John? Why would you have a different opinion of him if he was still the same guy? Obviously that because you are tired, your attitude changes. This happens all the time. Outtake – You Are What You Appear To Be We are a visual based society. We judge each other on our appearances, so one of the best ways to be happy is to look happy. Again you already know what I am about to tell you, but you need reminding because you may have forgotten some of these simple tools. Imagine you are walking down the street after it just rained. There is a puddle in your way, so what do you do? You walk around it right? And then what? Some of us even get pissed off that the puddle was in the way and mumble “dumb puddle”. This is the typical response of adults. Now imagine you are four years old and you walk down the same street after it rains and another puddle is in the way. What do you do? That’s right! You jump as high as you can and blast that thing, spraying water everywhere. Do you see the difference? As a child you looked at the puddle as an opportunity while as an adult the puddle was a problem. So what happened? Growing up and society and conditioning and consequences and bitterness and reality and a whole list of other things happened. Although we know that we don’t want wet socks and dirty pants, it takes the fun out of life at times, and more importantly it shows that our instincts have been dulled. We already know how to be happy and how to take advantage of opportunities. Unfortunately somewhere along this journey of life we have forgotten. Here is how to be happy right now:

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Eyes Up – look up at all times. Stop looking down (toward hell) unless you want to feel like it. Look up (toward Heaven) at all times. When you are talking with people stare at them. Never look away. Ever. When someone is speaking to you look at them 70% of the time. The other times look up and around. This shows that you are listening, but it also shows that you are not completely dominated. You want to be the one in control.
2. Head Up – tilt your head up at all times. It is amazing that this slight upward shift can make us feel so much more confident. Don’t take this to the extreme and walk around like a rooster though, just a centimeter modification upwards of your neck will do the trick.
3. Sit Up – when you are sitting, sit up. Sure you want to be comfortable, but do this while being confident and strong. When you are in a chair it is way too easy to slouch. Why do you think so many people have back and neck problems? Consciously sit up at all times. If you slouch your body is telling you to take a five minute break and that’s when you should walk away. Listen to you internal intelligence; it knows a lot more than you do.
4. Stand Up – when someone is depressed their shoulders are slumped, their head and eyes point down, and their body is limp. Do the opposite on purpose. When you are walking down the street, do so with your shoulders back, chest out, and head tilted slightly up. Be strong physically because you are. Walk with confidence and as if you’d just had a gigantic success and are on top of the world. Notice what your body is doing. You will find yourself moving your arms along with your shoulders with a bounce in your step. It is your world; everyone else is just passing by.
5. Chest Open – I can’t stress the importance of this. Don’t just open your shoulders up and back, but to the side as well. Your chest should slightly stick out at all times. This should allow your lungs to take in more oxygen. Breathing is not just important but it is the source of our life. We can live without anything in the world for a certain amount of time, but without oxygen you would be dead in minutes. Think about how important that is. Most anger and pain can be breathed out because it is the best and only true transference of energy. People yell because it is effective. It releases energy quickly. So does physical activity. So does breathing. Use it to your advantage. Every few minutes take a deep breath purposefully.
6. Arms Open – there is seldom a need to defend yourself. Having your arms closed, in your pockets, folded across your chest, or anything similar shows weakness and a need to protect yourself. What are you protecting yourself from? Open up to the world. Let it in. It not only shows the world that you are comfortable and self-assured, but it send a message to your emotional system that is how you should feel. Amazing isn’t it?
7. Legs Firm – when you are standing around, make sure you space your legs about a shoulder length apart and use both as a foundation. Do not lean on one leg more than another. Your strength comes from your balance.
8. Talking – 85% or so of communication is nonverbal, that is why this is last. Trust me when I tell you that what you do with your body and actions are much more important than what you say with your mouth. Having said that here are some tips when speaking: Stop saying “ah” and “um,” partial sentences, and partial words. Speak slowly and clearly. What you have to say is important at all times. If people don’t listen to you then walk away. Screw them. Find people who care. Speak with a strong voice and never end your sentences with a questioning tone. Don’t pause too long before answering a question because it indicates that you’re thinking too hard for your answer. This appears indecisive and people could perceive that you’re trying too hard to win approval.
9. What the body positioning tools above really talk about are power. They show how we as humans can choose to come from a position of power rather than limitation. We have the choice right now to put ourselves in a physical position of strength rather than weakness. What will your choice be? Every moment that passes can be one that is strong, happy, balanced, and fun, or it can be weak, sad, disproportion and boring. It is your choice and it is a conscious one.
10. Your body is the control center for your being. It works in harmony with your spirit and mind. It needs to have its parameters tested, maintained, and promoted. It needs to be used in ways that are healthy at least three times a week. Your body needs to Sweat!
11. Wayne Dyer, the best selling author of over a dozen books including “The Power of Intention” has jogged at least eight miles every day since October 7, 1976. Some people work out two hours every day. Some people surf four hours a day. Everyone may have different parameters, but everyone has the same basic needs. A very important need is to have your body know that it is alive. Too often do we slowly let it die. For example, when was the last time you ran full speed? Exactly my point!
12. I surf and jog. Sometimes I will go a week without surfing and I can feel my body start to talk to me. It is an antsy feeling. A little voice tells me I have to do something. I know you have heard it too. So that is why I picked up jogging. Actually it is more like walking. I walk with three full sprints mixed in. I sweat for a little bit and feel great afterwards. The cool thing is that we don’t have to run eight miles a day. People differ, yet we all need a physical outlet.
13. For today do this: warm up with a quick jog, then run as fast as you can for thirty seconds, walk for two minutes, then run again full speed for thirty seconds, walk for two more minutes, then run all out for thirty seconds, then walk home. You will know your limit. Adjust this according to your fitness level. In no time you will be able to stretch your parameters. Make yourself sweat for at least ten minutes a day three times a week. Continue this exercise or pick up one that suits your interests (dance, yoga or cardio).