How to Avoid Boring Sex As a Newlywed

You’ve both said “I do” and now you feel a lot like “You don’t want to.” Your lackluster lust is in conflict with what the media tells us, the first year of marriage is supposed to be non-stop romance and heart-stopping sex. Yet, it’s not always the case and that possibility can be a hard issue to handle as you two start your marriage.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Communicate likes, dislikes and expectations. Whether you’ve been intimate with each other before the marriage or not, communication remains the key. Talking and expressing how you both feel about sexual likes and dislikes can build a bridge between you and increase the joy of your sex. Also talking about your sexual expectations is important to establish what you both want, need and hope for. Talk because neither of you are sexual mind-readers.
2. Experiment together. You’re married. You’re adults. Don’t be afraid to try new things (positions, role playing, sexual aids) that you have not tried before. While it can feel like it’s too early to have to deal with this issue, you don’t know how long it’s been growing. This is your chance to re-introduce excitement that the wedding stress may have sapped.
3. Avoid unreal media. Magazines, romance novels and pornography can introduce conflicting fantasy and unreal expectations. Avoid them as they can easily bring trouble into your sex life. You have your new partner, enjoy sex with them instead of false images and make believes.
4. Keep passion, avoid chores. Remember that sex is another form of communication in your relationship. It’s another way for you two to connect. Don’t allow sex to become a chore like washing dishes. It’s not something to do or that you have to do because it’s been a while. Enjoy it and don’t dread it.
5. Communicate via talking. Talk about how you’re feeling about your sex life. Your spouse is not going to know that sex has become an issue if you don’t tell them. If your self-esteem is causing issues, discuss it with them. If you’re too exhausted after work, explain this to them.