How to Strip with a Reyn Spooner Hawaiian Shirt

You'll learn "How to" take your Reyn Spooner Hawaiian shirt off efficiently, saving you time and effort, so you can show off that bronzed beach body you've put so much food into.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• A Reyn Spooner Hawaiian shirt of course.
• Khaki shorts
• Flip Flops
• A hat is optional (the shirt will come off faster without it)

1. First and foremost, if you're wearing a hat, take it off. No real trick to this, just grab the front brim and peel back. If you want to increase the level of difficulty, then leave the hat on and you'll proceed through the next few steps skipping STEP 1...IF you can do it, then you can put "Master Hawaiian Shirt Stripper" next to your name on any business card from this day forward.
2. Next, cross your arms in front of your stomach with palms facing you, grab the side waist hem of the Vintage 1970's Reyn Spooner Hibiscus Muted Print Hawaiian Shirt Size XL, and pull up towards the candy blue sky, making sure to expose those rippling muscles (or fat) of that wash board surface you call a belly.
3. As you pull upwards, make sure to do it slowly, inch the shirt up your latisimus dorsi all sexy like...act like there are a flock of birds (these will be ladies soon enough) surrounding you and you don't want to disturb them.
4. Once you've pulled the whole shirt off and over your head, start twisting it around your head like a helicopter, and twist your hips in the opposite direction you're swinging the shirt. Maybe before, you want to practice the hip movement with a handy Delta Hula Hoop.
5. See! 4 easy steps to stripping with your Vintage Reyn Spooner Floral Print Rayon Hawaiian Shirt. Now, if that doesn't get you layed in Hawaii I don't know what will.=-)

Tips & Warnings

• If you want a look at crazy, sexy, cool Reyn Spooner Hawaiian shirts, then you can check some out at http://www.clothing-vintage-extra-large.com/ (Sorry for the shame-full site plug.)
• People without (mostly diagnosed with white Caucasian tanning disease) a tan are prone to send the beautifully developed and tanned opposite screaming the other way covering their eyes.
• Don't go dry! A little fake sweat like lotion, or the like, hasn't shown to hurt anybody. Research shows a wet body serves hungry eyes.
• Remember, take a break reading each step above because it may be too much to digest all at one time, so pace yourself.
• AND, do NOT start reading this article on an empty stomach, you may get a little worked up, so if you're going to vomit, then it's good to vomit solids.
• Last but not least, always, always, always...have fun. If someone starts in on you for doing the proven sex ritual above, then tell them you're a professional and they wouldn't know because that's what professionals do.