How to NOT Feed an Alligator!

So you're on vacation in sunny Florida and decide to check out that big gator sunning himself along the road...."Daddy, I bet that thing is hongry!", exclaims your youngest off-spring. "Let's Feed It! NOT!

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Chicken...fried or raw
• Favorite alcoholic beverage (in this case, beer)
• Big White Stick
• camcorder or digital camera

1. Proper Hydration Technique for Alligator Feeding...Get Friends Involved. Hydrate....Most efficient alligator feeders seem to have no problem with this step. Preferred choice of fluid - Budweiser (and none of that Bud Lite crap...that's for wimps)
2. Who was it that said chickens don't like beer? Selection of Food...Little known fact that most alligator love chicken...and most alligator feeders love beer, so....
3. Introduce yourself to your new found friend...Let him know you care about his well-being and want to protect his species from extinction. Extend a hand in friendship...(and have a friend nearby with a big white stick for protection against a 2,000 lb meat grinder)
4. Oops! Congratulations! Now your new nickname is "Lefty"

Tips & Warnings

• Try different Foods...how about Potato Salad?
• Be sure to read "How Not to Feed a Grizzly Bear a Marshmallow"
• When feeding alligators, be sure to wear a sunscreen. Wouldn't want to get a nasty sunburn, now would we?