How to NOT Feed a Grizzly Bear a Marshmallow !

So you're out in nature...enjoying a warm,cozy campfire...toasting marshmallows. When all of a sudden you hear a rustle in the bushes and out lumbers a curious, and hungry critter of the wild...Mr.Grizz (could even be Mrs Grizz at this point). Hey! Lets feed it!

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Bag of StayPuff Marshmallows
• Campfire
• Loud shouting,music...anything that draws attention to you

1. The Perfect Campsite Set Up Camp...Do this in a known area where bear are prolific. Look for signs of activity...bear droppings, chewed tree bark, empty rolls of toilet paper...
2. Camp Loud with Friends...Bears Love an Assortment Drawing Attention... Now comes the fun part! Sing, shout, do Richard Simmons imitations...anything that Mr. Grizz can hear. Note: Drinking large quantities of alcohol can be useful in this step. Torch up the ole campfire and get it blazing! Slap some meat on the grill...urinate! Drinking alcohol helps this quite nicely....as an added bonus, urinate IN the fire...amazing how a bear can pick up that smell.
3. Best Method....Marshmallow between lips (knife tells bear you're not afraid) The Lure....Ok, all your hard work up to this point has paid off. A bear has picked up the scent, heard the commotion, and makes a bee line straight to your camp. Guys(especially those with mullets),this is a great way to impress chics...place a single marshmallow in mouth and walk towards bear saying...."Here you go Yogi...want a marshmallow?"
4. Beyond Botox The New You! Never again will people look at you the same way. Command everyone's attention once you walk into a room...learn to tell horror stories to children...Go on Oprah....Show Letterman a great "Stupid Human Trick".

Tips & Warnings

• camcorder,camcorder,camcorder....just think how much money you could make with this.
• No bears were harmed during the writing of this article
• Be sure to read "How NOT to feed an alligator...Coming Soon!