How to Cope With Conflict

Disagreements happens. Conflicts can have adverse effects on us all. As individual, whether at home, work or social setting we all have different opinions, values and concerns. Some conflicts are minor and others can become major. Usually conflicts are not resolved until we deal with them. One of the people involved in the conflict must decide to overcome the emotions and get down to the root of the problem. This is to say take a lead and try to manage the situation instead of letting the situation manage the people. Leaders must learn how to cope with conflict to be healthier, happier and more effective in groups. The important thing is when disagreements build, conflict occurs. Managing conflict require skillful techniques. These techniques are also helpful when dealing with disagreements, the start of conflicts. Conflict occurs in every group. Issues affecting one member usually have an impact on other members as well. An effective group, whether social, vocational or personal is one that is not afraid to take risks. taking risk will come when the group understand that all conflicts will be resolved in a timely and effective manner. This will allow members to be more satisfied, productive and that feel they can communicate without reserve. "It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope." Pope John XXIII

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. one way many people cope with conflict is avoidance. It is unspoken but it is still there. We tend to think if I do not address it will go away.
   
   Some things will but most will not. Unless you are for sure that not dealing with the disagreement will not cause the disagreement to explode into a conflict. This is not an effective way of coping with conflict. It is okay to say, "I disagree with you."
   
   Acknowledging the disagreement sometimes is all it takes. It's the whole I can agree to disagree mindset. No one is right or wrong, we are just individuals who have different values on this point or project. Ignoring it all together is not useful.
2. Another way that we cope with conflict is accommodation. Have you heard a person say, "I made accommodations for...". This means that they were aware there could be a conflict of interest, values or concerns and they have tried to de-emphasize them by magnifying the common agreements.
   
   This is a great way, even in a meeting to agree on the things that you have in common and minimize the things that are not. However, it should be something that all parties is willing to do. If not, acknowledge their concerns and try to win them over to the consensus. Most people just want to be heard and responded to.
3. Compromise is something like a win/win situation. In that you all get a portion of what you intended to walk out with. When compromise is the choice to resolve the conflict, all parties should give up something and get something. This is a mutual agreement.
   
   Compromise does not work if the initial demands are too great. Most of the time no one will want to lose any portion of their demand. It will not work if the compromise is not honored by all parties. In other words if you make a compromise, be willing to follow through on it.
4. One of the upper-hand moves in conflict management is the competition rule. In this scenario on e of the parties is able to win and the other party will lose. It's a battle of the wits and it is for power. It's the whole sports concept of life. It's my team against your team.
   
   When you use this form of conflict management, it does not promote teamwork. It actually will stump any ground gained with other methods. Make sure when you use this that it is worth the fight.
5. Out of all the techniques in this article, Collaboration is the best. It is THE win/win situation. It works best when the team member trust one and other and respect each other. Collaboration requires time so all parties to explore and express their feelings and needs.
   
   Collaboration is every individual thinking about the larger group as a whole and not just their individual agendas. Sometimes Collaboration can result in people switching their views because additional information has been uncovered and introduced.
   
   However, Collaboration does require time and energy and if that is not the case it will fail miserably.

Tips & Warnings

• Accept the fact that conflict is going to happen.
• Deal with one issue at a time.
• Choose the right time for the conflict.
• Agree to disagree.
• Avoid reacting to unintentional remarks.
• Avoid resolutions that come too soon or too easily.
• Avoid name calling and threatening behavior.
• Don't insist on being right.