How to Chew the Fat Like Moe of the Three Stooges

When Curly or Larry of the Three Stooges cooked a meal, you could be 100% sure that the food would be tough, rubbery and impossible to chew. This is not necessarily a bad thing, particularly if you learn to chew like Moe Howard. Some say he was the leader of the Stooges, so take his lead on getting through a tough meal. The best thing about this is that you will never hurt your hosts' feelings if he happens to put a potholder in with your pancakes.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Become angry at tough and rubbery food.

2. Stab food homicidally with a fork, bending the fork in half for good measure.

3. Place the food in your mouth and attempt to chew.

4. Grab your chin with one hand and your hair with the other hand. Pull down on chin and up on hair until mouth is fully open.

5. Reverse motion until mouth closes. Repeat at a furious pace until food is completely chewed.

6. While swallowing, thump yourself on the forehead several times to ensure smooth digestion.