How to Cope With an Adult Child's Divorce

Offer a sanctuary of peace

Divorce is stressful for all parties involved. As a parent, you hope to minimize the pain your child experiences. You can't fix the problem, but you can behave in ways that promote healing for everyone.

Instructions

1. 

   Control your protective instincts. Don't take sides or get caught up in highly emotional arguments. Recognize that this is your child's problem and while you will support her choices, you will not allow yourself to become involved in the process.

2. Listen to your child. Allow your son or daughter to vent. Don't try to fix the problem or say things like "I never liked your spouse anyway."

3. Don't agree to do anything illegal. Don't help your child hide money or assets or in any way jeopardize your own assets.

4. Help your child learn more about the process of divorce. Educate him about financial planning, child custody and recovery from divorce. Providing information can be very helpful to someone in distress.

5. Plan for the possibility that your child may look to you for financial support. Think about how you will respond. Be sure to discuss this carefully with your own spouse.

6. Keep your eye on your grandchildren. Offer them love and support and let them know you will be there for them. Never say anything derogatory about their parents.

Tips & Warnings

• If you experience feelings of guilt or shame, let them go. This is not your fault.