How to Reject a Request for a Date

No one likes being rejected. However, most people want to be told the truth, even when it hurts. When it comes to dating, it's no exception. Though the person may be sad and disappointed that you turned down their request for a date, they will appreciate your honesty in the long run. Which is better--being lied to or hearing the truth, but sparing you from building up hopes? The second is better, and there are a few key steps to follow in rejecting someone's request for a date.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Before you decide to reject someone's request for a date, ask yourself if this is truly what you want. In many instances, people deny date requests out of fear of moving on from a relationship gone bad or insecurity. If you don't want to date the person asking you out for one of these reasons, it may not be a bad idea to get out there and test the waters, so to speak, again.
2. If you, however, are simply not interested in the individual asking you out, it's best to be honest with them. Yes, their feelings may be hurt. Yes, they may not understand why you're not interested in getting to know them. But they'd rather hear it now than invest time and emotions into a relationship that isn't going to go anywhere.
3. Speak to them in person, if you can. If you both are friends, arrange a time to meet up. Grab a cup of coffee or go out for drinks. Let them know you care for them as a friend, but aren't quite ready to be their significant other. Let them know if you'd rather get to know others romantically.
4. Expect them to take it hard. When we as humans are attracted to a potential mate or significant other, we tend to envision ourselves together. We may fantasize about an ideal relationship or what it would be like to live life as a couple. If they react badly, know that they aren't mad at you, but they are hurt and disappointed at the crushing of their dreams.
5. If you aren't on a friendly basis with the person asking you out, consider giving them a call or emailing them. Either way, be kind yet firm. Be sensitive to their feelings, but tell them your feelings straight up. They will respect your honesty when the situation is over.
6. If you've already been on a date with an individual and wish to reject any further dates, it's best not to lead them on. Remember, you aren't obliged to continue dating someone if you aren't interested. You are only in the wrong when you lead them to believe you have feelings that aren't truly there.
7. Set them up with someone else. If you cannot stand the thought of dating the girl who is asking you out, let her down gently. Say something like, "I am flattered you want to go out with me, but honestly, I really think you'd be better off getting to know my buddy." This lessens the blow to her self-esteem by giving her some hope that there is someone out there more compatible with her than you.

Tips & Warnings

• Always give the person time. If they are hurt, they may not want to be chummy with you right off the bat.
• Never ignore a guy or girl you've dated casually. This can break someone's self-esteem and leave them wondering what went wrong. You owe it to the person you're dating or talking to to end it the right way. And this doesn't mean four months into the relationship.