How to Shake Hands Like a Viking

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By whiskeytango
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Shake Hands Like a Viking

Here you will learn how to shake hands like a man... a viking man.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Make eye contact with your fellow Viking. You may need to remove your helmet for step 1, for though your Viking Helmet is most glorious and adorned with many runes, it may restrict your vision. Also, your Viking friend may find it an affront to him if you don't show him your gruff and bearded visage.
Step 2

Walk over to said Viking, and extend your arm. Here you may grunt if you see fit. Do not say hello, or "hail thee, fellow traveler". The warriors of Valhalla need no such salutations.
Step 3

When he likewise extends his arm, clasp your hand around his inner forearm as he does the same to you. By the Hammer of Thor, grasp it tight lad. Spare none of your strength on his arm, for he shant spare his.
Step 4

Give a strong, firm shake. Only once. Odin does not abide long Viking man on Viking man touching.
Step 5

Release.
Step 6

Revel in your absolute manliness.

Tips & Warnings

Hold an axe in your non-shaking hand.
A hammer will do as well
Don't you dare break eye contact. He may take this as a sign of weakness, and you don't want to know what Vikings do to the weak
... they rape and pillage the weak.