How to Be Shy Without Having Low Self-esteem

Being shy is often viewed as a character defect in a society filled with outgoing, charismatic people. Shyness can be seen as a curse by some, which can therefore lead to low self-esteem and feelings of social inadequacy. However, there is hope for the shy person. Follow these steps to maintain a sense of humility and shyness while still having high self-worth and self-esteem.

Instructions

1. Begin by examining the roots of your shyness. Determine whether you have developed a shy personality as a result of embarrassment or simply a more introverted personality style.

2. Take a personality test online that measures levels of introversion and extroversion, such as Myers-Briggs or The Big Five personality tests. Learn a bit about your personal relations style. Take notice of the thoughts you have in social situations and pay special attention to any negative messages you may be telling yourself.

3. Make a list of positive qualities and achievements that you have in spite of your shyness. Measure these good attributes against things you consider as faults. Emphasize your positive qualities to yourself and learn what benefits your shyness has in relating with others. Perhaps you are a good listener or you are very concerned with the well-being of others.

4. Monitor your self talk and notice if it inhibits your natural impulses and spontaneity. Read some daily meditations to feel more confident about yourself throughout the day. Learn the difference between humility and low self-esteem and monitor the more frequent internal response you seem to exhibit.

5. Practice introducing yourself to other people. Use open-ended conversational methods. For example, ask strangers what they are reading, rather if they are having a good day. You want to open up more clear lines of communication and foster extended conversation.

6. Talk with a trusted friend about your shy disposition to become more accustomed to putting yourself on the line.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk about things that interest you with people you aren't well acquainted with, so you will be more engaged in the conversation.

• Hold on to your sense of humility; this quality is often desirable in a friend and lover.

• Do not let low self-esteem affect your life in excessively negative ways. If you experience symptoms of depression, visit a mental health practitioner for further assistance.

Resources

• More tips to overcome shyness
• Personality tests