How to Act Spoiled

Acting spoiled comes naturally to some people, complaining about everything from the spots on your newly cleaned car to the lettuce on you deli sandwich being a wee-bit too wilted. Acting spoiled and being spoiled, however, are two very different things. Here is how to act spoiled while being an average person.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Convince yourself that you are as great as you think you should be. Become high maintenance. Keep up the appearance. Remind yourself of all the things you do have and things you could have that would make you happier.
2. Hire a housekeeper, especially if you don't really need one. Hire a housekeeper to come in as little as possible and clean as little as possible just so you can say you have a housekeeper, then act spoiled because of it.
3. Get spruced up regularly. This is for both men and women. Ask a friend to do it--a secret friend who will keep quiet about actually doing it. Let everyone know that you got your hair done, a manicure, or bought a new dress. Draw attention to yourself.
4. Valet park at all times. Spoiled people do not park their car in the farthest lot and walk anywhere. They don't have to. Valet park the car at the Nordstrom entrance of the mall and walk down to the discount store. Valet park the car at the nice restaurant on the boardwalk and walk around the corner to a fast food restaurant. Remember, it is all about appearances.
5. Be obnoxious about every little thing that goes against you. Complain about everything. Make a scene about average food at a classy restaurant. Complain about the valet not holding the door open for you. Complain about having a chipped nail because someone didn't hold the door open for you. Truly spoiled people often try to find something wrong with every little thing, just for the sake of complaining.