How to Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem
The term self-esteem can refer to many things, including self-respect, self-confidence, self-reliance, pride and independence. The most important time to focus on building a positive self-esteem is during childhood. Your child's feelings about herself can help determine how successful she will be in both an academic and social environment.
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Instructions
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Let your child know that the lines of communication are open between you. You child needs to feel that he can come to you with any problem or concern and that you will listen without passing judgment. Even though you might have a different view of the situation, it is important for a child to know that his thoughts and feelings are important to you.
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Build your positive outlook. You are your child's biggest role model, and having a positive outlook allows you to focus on the positive things in any situation. If your child's behavior is not up to par, don't focus on the negative aspect for long; instead, look for something positive to take from it.
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Praise your child. When your child does something well, let her know, but also find something to praise every day. Put a note in her lunchbox that says how proud you are, or simply give her a big hug for no reason besides your love for her. If your child is struggling with something and has not quite mastered it, praise her for working so diligently. The more you honestly praise your child, the higher her self-esteem becomes.
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Let your child know that he's never alone. Many children with low self-esteem feel like no one understands them, that there is no one to help them with problems but themselves. Every child can sometimes use a reminder that she has a support system. One way to help is to place of photo of the child with family members or friends (or both) in her room so that it is readily visible at all times.
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Teach your child to control his feelings. We all have feelings of sadness, anger and frustration, and you should teach your child that it is normal to have these feelings, but the important thing is how he handles them. It is not always a good idea to act on feelings, because then we let them control us. Your child needs to learn that he is in control of his emotions. You can teach your child this by playing little games such as closing your eyes and remembering a happy experience when you are feeling sad, or if you are angry at someone, close your eyes and think of something you like about that person.
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Teach your child to set attainable goals and follow through to complete the task. Each time your child reaches a goal that she has set it raises her self-esteem. It is very important that you communicate with your child and help her learn to set goals that are age and ability appropriate. This makes is easier to meet the goal. The goals can get harder as your child progresses, but the goals always should be attainable.
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Never compare siblings. Each child should be praised for his own accomplishments, not viewed in light of what his brother or sister has done. A child should never be criticized for not doing something as well as another child, whether it be sibling or classmate. Each child has something positive that he brings to the world, so focus on that rather than comparing how one child stacks up against another.
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Tips & Warnings
Communication is the most important thing between a parent and child.
Praise your child for something every day.
Positivity breeds positive self-esteem.
Negativity breeds negative self-esteem.
Criticism fosters a negative self-esteem.
Don't set goals for your child that he or she can never reach. Keep goals realistic.
References
- Photo Credit Comstock Images/Comstock/Getty Images
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