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Step 1
Opening the lines of communication is one of the most important things you can do for your child. You child needs to feel that he or she can come to you with any problem or concern and that you will listen with passing judgment. Even though you may have a different view of the situation, it is important for a child to know that their thoughts and feelings are important to you.
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Step 2
In order to help build your child's self-esteem, you must have a positive self-esteem. You are your child's biggest role model throughout life. Having a positive outlook allows you to focus on the positive things in any situation. If your child's behavior is not up to par, don't focus on the negative aspect, even when you don't like your child's behavior, try to focus on something positive. In many cases, focusing on the positive aspects will distract your child from the negative behavior.
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Step 3
Praise your child. Don't be stingy with the praises. When your child does something well, let them know. Find something to praise your child for every day. If your child is struggling with something and has not quite mastered it, praise them for working so diligently. The more you honestly praise your child, the higher their self-esteem becomes. Don't criticize. Criticism produces negative feelings. Stay with the positive.
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Step 4
Many children with low self-esteem feel like they are alone in the world--no one understands them, there is no one to help them with problems but themselves, even though the child may have a large network of family and friends that openly support them in all they do. Sometimes, a child needs a reminder that they have this support system, especially when the child is alone and thoughts may turn to more negative things. One way to give your child a reminder that they do have a support team of family or friends is to place of photo of the child with family members or friends (or both) in the child's room so that it is readily visible at times when your child may need a reminder.
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Step 5
Teach your child to control their feelings. We all have feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration. You should teach your child that it is normal to have these feelings and that the important thing is how he or she handles these feelings. It is not always a good idea to act on the feelings, because then we let the feelings control us. Your child needs to learn that he or she is control of his/her feelings. You can teach your child this by playing little games such as closing your eyes and remembering a happy experience when you are feeling sad. Or if you are angry at someone, close your eyes and think of something you like about that person.
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Step 6
Teach your child to set attainable goals, follow through, and complete the task. Each time your child reaches a goal that they have set, this raises their self-esteem. It is very important that you communicate with your child and help them learn to set goals that are age and ability appropriate. This makes is easier to meet the goal. The goals can get harder as your child progresses, but the goals should always be attainable for your child.
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Step 7
Never compare siblings. While one child may excel at one thing, another child has other positive aspects that are added to the mix. Each child should be praised for their own accomplishments. One child should never be criticized for not doing something as well as another child, whether it be sibling or classmate. Each child has something positive that he or she brings to the world so focus on that rather than comparing how one child stacks up against another.
Comments
ducksberry said
on 6/19/2009 thank you for the advice.