How to Help Your Child Overcome Shyness

Overcoming shyness can be a big challenge for a child. It is important that you work with your child and remember to take small steps rather than forcing your child into a big "situation" with no preparation.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Communicate with your child. It is always important to open the lines of communication between your child and yourself so that your child knows that he/she always has an ally. Together, make a list of situations that make your child feel shy and work on one thing at a time. It is always important that you take small steps with children and set goals that they can realistically meet.

2. Prepare your child. If your child will be experiencing something new or meeting new people, prepare ahead of time. Discuss who will be present and tell your child about each person. Discuss things that will be happening at the event. Being prepared will help your child to feel less scared - and this could lead to a less timid experience for your child.

3. Role-play. Discuss different situations with your child and act them out together. Pretend that your child will be meeting a new kid. Ask him/her how she feels when this happens, discuss how he/she should act,and role-play. Take turns being the new person so that your child has an idea of how it feels to be on both sides of the coin.

4. Encourage group games. Take your child to the park and encourage him/her to play with other children in a group. Perhaps the sandbox would be a good place to start. Once your child gets older, take a ball to the park and try to pull together an impromptu game of pitch with a few other kids.

5. When going into a new situation, such as bringing your child with you when you visit a friend or other person that is a stranger to your child, let them bring along their favorite toy or blanket. Having something familiar reminds them of home and makes them feel secure. Don't make the child talk until he/she is ready to to. Once your child feels comfortable around the new person, he or she will most likely talk on their own.

6. Invite children to your home for play dates. This gives your child an opportunity to learn to interact with others in an environment where he or she feels safe. Plan activities, such as crafts, and place the materials where the children will have to be in close proximity in order to participate. Plan group games and encourage your child to participate without forcing the issue.

Tips & Warnings

• The best way to show your child how to be out-going is to be out-going yourself so that your child has an example to follow.
• Always encourage your child to try new experiences.
• Never force your child to join in group activities. Let him/her watch until he/she feels comfortable joining the group.
• Never compare a shy child to an out-going child.
• Never punish your child for being shy - rather try to empathize with your child and work on ways to help him/her feel more comfortable in new situations.