How to Recognize if You are a Victim of Domestic Violence

Recognize the warning signs of domestic violence before you become a statistic

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• An open mind
• Desire for a better life

1. Abusers are controllers. They want to control everything you do. They pick your clothes, friends, jobs, and tell you how to behave. As a victim you have no privacy. The abuser reads your mails and listens in on phone conversations. They do not recognize you as a partner in the relationship. They are always right and your opinions are devalued.
2. Abusers try to isolate their partners. They limit your contact with the outside word, especially the family members and friends you are closest to. Abusers have been known to even lock their victims inside the house. They always have to know where you are and what you are doing.
3. Abusers have difficulty with communication. They tend to monopolize the conversation and there is no reasoning with them. When they don't get their way, they resort to temper tantrums and violent outrages. Often over something minor.
4. Abusers love to belittle their victims. Out of their own insecurities they feel better when they are putting you down. There is usually a list, written or mental, of things they do not like about their partner. They spend much time trying to correct these flaws.
5. Victims of domestic violence slowly begin to lose their self-confidence. Often confident and intelligent women get involved with the wrong person. If someone with a healthy self worth starts to act insecure, abuse could be the reason.
6. An abused person often declines social invitations because this is easier than being embarrassed. The abuser enjoys humiliating them in public, often making it appear to be a joke. Somehow it strokes their ego to verbally slam their partners in public. Those around them often feel pity for the victim. Just imagine what it is like when no one else is around!
7. The abuser never takes responsibility for their actions. It is always the victims fault. The abuser justifies their behavior by saying "they made me do it." Eventually the victim starts to believe these lies. They cover-up for the abuser while trying everything possible to make the abuser happy. But nothing is ever enough or good enough. The cycle of abuse just continues.
8. Partners of an abuser usually feel more like a servant than a husband or wife. It is not talked about as much, but men can also be the victim of domestic violence. The abuser makes all the major decisions and handles the money. The victim feels like a child asking for an allowance.
9. The abused person often wears long sleeve shirts and has excuses for the cuts and bruises they are unable to hide. They also rearrange their homes frequently and get new furniture frequently. During fits of uncontrolled anger the abuser smashes everything in sight. But studies have shown they do not destroy their own personal property.
10. Most victims know they are being abused. They don't like the way things are but they don't know how to get out of the relationship. Abuse can range from a hurtful comment to stabbing someone to death. You will know when you are being abused by how it makes you feel about yourself.

Tips & Warnings

• Help is available.
• Don't be afraid to get involved if you suspect abuse.
• Children growing up in abusive homes usually become abusers
• Partners who abuse their spouses will probably also abuse their children
• An abused partner that leaves often risks their life.
• Get help and have a plan before you leave.
• Restraining orders help but don't always work.
• Do whatever you have to do to survive.