Step1
Sexual, intimate and even orgasmic lovemaking without penetration also carries with it a tantalizing element of the forbidden. Maybe it is the poignant memory of very early attempts at sex that were so exciting that, well, things were over before they really got started. Or, it could be the added stimulus of dry humping with your clothes on, limiting your play to oral sex or moving mutual masturbation into a steamy, soapy shower.
Step2
It’s all good. And, there are some really good reasons for it. Among them,
- No birth control. Why take that risk?
- It’s a new relationship. You haven’t gotten the results back from your HIV tests, but you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level. Outercourse can produce the feelings of intimacy and sexual satisfaction you’re looking for.
- Just for a change. Frankly, it requires a bit more skill to reach orgasm through prolonged foreplay rather than the old “in and out,” but the results are well worth the effort.
The pleasures of outercourse are particularly enhanced by the elements of fantasy, surprise and a willingness to experiment.
Step3
If you’ve never watched a porn film, this might just be the occasion. For a full-length feature film, try Pirates, a delightful take off on the popular trilogy with a crew of women more dangerous than any on the Black Pearl. For Couples Only is a four-disc set that will give you more than a few ideas about role playing and sensual foreplay. Rites of Passion is about a filmmaker directing a couple in lovemaking scenes. It’s billed as an “arousing guide to improving your lovemaking.” How can you go wrong?
Step4
The element of surprise can also heighten the pleasures of outercourse. For example, I’ll never forget the time when my boyfriend grabbed me suddenly in a department store in the mall. He’d been away on a business trip. We backed into a storage room where he pinned me against the wall and we made out until we were breathless and shaking. The unexpected timing mixed with the fear of getting caught fanned the flames of passion.
So, catch your lover at work, at school, in the yard. Show up in her morning shower and gift her with a waterproof, dual-speed Blue Dolphin Vibrator mid-soaping.
Have a three-way with other fanciful sex toys that can fuel home-grown or movie-induced fantasies. And, there’s a new generation of remote control vibrators that can get the party started at the restaurant, on the drive home or even in cities away via the Internet.
Of course, the taboo of “not doing it” can sometimes make you want it all the more. This is not always a bad thing, because, suddenly, run-of-the-mill vanilla sex can become divine.
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