How to Be Honest Without Being Harsh

Sometimes people proclaim they're being honest when they're really being cruel. Though honesty is the best policy, this isn't always true when it comes to sharing a thought that might hurt another person. Tempering your honesty with tact ensures that your comments won't be so harsh that the other person won't hear them.

Instructions

1. Consider the circumstances before you respond. For example, if your friend asks for advice, honesty is probably the best approach. If your friend asks for your opinion on an unimportant matter, consider his feelings before you answer.

2. When someone asks you a subjective question, consider her feelings. If she has doubts about her appearance, for example, don't add to her doubts by pointing out her flaws, no matter how real you think they are.

3. Reflect on why you want to share your opinion. If you want to share it because you want to prove your right about something, hold off on sharing your opinion. If you think that your honesty provides genuinely helpful information, share your thoughts.

4. Phrase your honest response tactfully. Think about your friend's specific situation and personality and talk to him in a way that he'll respond to.

5. Realize that your perspective might not be correct, even if you feel as though you're being absolutely honest. If you keep this in mind, you can temper your approach so you don't come across as harsh.

Tips & Warnings

• Most people respond better to supportive statements than critical statements.

• Never use "honesty" as a tactic in an argument or when you're angry. In this case, it too often becomes an excuse to share negative observations or emotions. Instead, wait until your emotions cool and then share your honest observation if you feel like it's still valid.