How to Parent a Bipolar Child

More children today are being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and parents are having to juggle mood charts, medicines, doctors and behavior problems, in addition to the normal challenges of childhood. Sometimes it seems like the rules of parenting just don't work, but bipolar kids are still kids, and they need their parents more than ever.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Diagnosis, medicines and psychiatrist
• Books about bipolar and other diagnoses
• Child development information
• Movies, popcorn and picnics
• Patience and a positive attitude

1. Be sure of the diagnosis. This is often much harder than it sounds, since other disorders can overlap in symptoms and sound similar by description. Professionals aren't always right. You may have to do some research on your own, reading books and talking to other parents, to rule out ADHD, emotional trauma, Aspergers, food allergies and other not-bipolar emotional diagnoses.
2. Help your child understand the disorder, using books and conversation. A child complies better when he understands.
3. Study what normal behavior should look like at your child's age. There are books and websites that give typical developmental scenarios which might help you tell what's just "being 9 years old" and what's part of the disorder. It will help you understand your child's limits and set realistic goals.
4. Stay humble, and don't use words of despair even in your own mind. Be willing to admit that a strategy you used didn't work out, but be equally willing to try again another time or in another way. Don't say, "At this rate, she'll end up in jail" or "He'll never finish school!"
5. Try to have a conversation with your child about her feelings any time there is an opening. You may be surprised to find out why she did something or said something. Parents tend to assume that typical or expected reasons are true, but with an emotional disorder, a child may do or say things for completely different reasons. If you know why, you may be able to see what can be done to change things.
6. Be open to talking to other adults in your child's life. They need to know what he is going through, if they are people who can handle this information in a tactful and kind way.
7. Look for ways to be happy together. Life isn't all made up of solving disorders, and sick children need happiness and fun too. Even in the worst times, find small things like having a snack together, or watching a movie.
8. Look for times to say "yes." Bipolar children are often so demanding and oppositional, we get trained to say "no" to everything they ask. On the other side, when you need to say no, mean it.
9. Look for your child's unique personality inside the disorder. The disorder will come and go, but that person will always be with you. Cooperate with the doctors in medicating, but never forget that you are parenting, not doctoring. A positive relationship with you will do much for your child's overall well-being, and will make teamwork possible.

Tips & Warnings

• Seek out support groups in person or online, so that you can figure out how much of your child's behavior is related to the disorder. Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation has active online support groups.
• Remember to stay positive about your child if you can, since other people may be shaping their attitude to your child by what you say.
• Don't tolerate violence. Make a hospitalization plan, and use any behavior-modification plans that work for you.