How to Cope With Christmas During Infertility

Christmas is a challenging time of year for people who are struggling with infertility. Christmas is such as family-focused holiday, so it serves as a constant reminder that you are missing out on one of the most significant relationships that a person can experience. Because Christmas comes with so much hype for over a month, there is no way to avoid the constant reminders.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Plan a strategy to get through Christmas. Reminders about Christmas will surround you for several weeks, so map out a strategy in early November.

2. Select activities to get you through the holiday season. Fortunately, many Christmas traditions do not involve children. Make plans to see "The Nutcracker" or attend an instrumental Christmas concert. Enjoy a Christmas cantata performed at a local church. Find ways to get into the holiday spirit in ways that are targeted toward adults.

3. Shop for Christmas presents at night. Walking through a shopping center during the Christmas season will expose you to many mothers dragging children along as they do their Christmas shopping. Instead, visit the shopping centers after most children have been tucked into bed. Alternatively, avoid the malls altogether and do your Christmas shopping over the Internet or through catalogs.

4. Honor the religious aspects of the holiday. If you are a Christian, try to focus on the religious reasons for the holiday instead of the family-oriented reasons. Get involved in an adult Sunday School class or enroll in a Bible study. Decorate your home with nativity scenes instead of Santa.

5. Focus on family traditions. Rather than being sad about not having your future family, think about what has made your past holidays special. Continue the Christmas traditions that you have enjoyed throughout your lifetime. Turn Christmas into a nostalgic experience rather than a reminder of what you are lacking.

6. Monitor your television viewing. Many television shows and made-for-TV movies that air during the holiday season focus on the importance of family. They begin with parents who fail to appreciate their children and end with the parents realizing that their children are what make life worth living. Do not put yourself through watching those movies. Instead, rent movies that have nothing to do with children.

7. Set aside time to grieve. It is normal to think about how disappointed (or devastated) you are to face another Christmas without a child. Give yourself permission to cry, punch pillows and do anything else to help you process your emotions.

Tips & Warnings

• Telling your friends that you are having a rough time will give them the opportunity to help you get through this difficult time of the year. Sometimes our friends will not connect the dots unless we tell them directly that we are hurting.