How to Cope With Mother's Day During Infertility

Mother's Day is one of the most painful days of the year for women who are struggling with infertility. As the rest of society celebrates motherhood, the infertile woman is constantly reminded that she is missing out on one of the most significant relationships that a person can experience. There is seemingly no way to get away from the constant reminders that you are not a mother.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Plan a strategy to get through Mother's Day. The weeks leading up to Mother's Day are filled with reminders that the dreaded day is approaching, so map out your strategy at least one month in advance.

2. Select fun activities to do. Make plans to engage in your favorite hobbies or to travel during the weeks leading up to Mother's Day so you have something to which you can look forward. Be sure to write those activities onto your calendar in pen so you do not change them when you start feeling depressed.

3. Commit to your plan. As Mother's Day approaches, you might find yourself preferring to stay under the covers, but you need to get out and enjoy the good things in your life. Consider asking friends to meet you and not take "no" for an answer.

4. Avoid the malls. Walking through a shopping center near Mother's Day is like asking the world to drop emotional bombs into your life. Shop windows have displays about Mother's Day, and the stores are filled with Mother's Day sales. Stay away from shopping centers for the month.

5. Purchase Mother's Day gifts from home. Rather than put yourself through the pain of going to a store, purchase all Mother's Day gifts either over the Internet or through a catalog. Order all of the gifts you need to buy in one sitting so you will not have to think about Mother's Day again. Be sure to have the gifts shipped directly to the recipients.

6. Record your television programs. Watching television live around Mother's Day is asking for constant reminders about the upcoming holiday. Instead, record your favorite shows and fast-forward through the commercials. If an episode centers around Mother's Day, do not watch it.

7. Make other plans on Mother's Day. Church is a tough place to go on Mother's Day, especially when the pastor asks all mothers to stand and be recognized and you are the only woman over thirty still seated. Celebrating Mother's Day with your own mother or mother-in-law can be tough, too. Instead, go away for the day with your spouse, doing something that you both enjoy, and celebrate your mothers on a different day when the pain is less raw.

Tips & Warnings

• Telling your friends that you are having a rough time will give them the opportunity to help you get through this difficult time of the year. Sometimes our friends will not connect the dots unless we tell them directly that we are hurting.