How to Survive Military Geographical Bachelor Status

Geographic bachelors are married active duty military members who take assignments at a distance from their spouses and offspring. They learn quickly there is no painless adjustment when you are permanently separated from the ones you love. It isn't any easier for their spouses and kids, either. But with some advanced preparation, it is possible to survive such an unnatural way of life.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Confine phone discussions concerning bills, difficult problems with the kids and relatives to email/snail mail letters. Phone calls should always be 100 percent loving and supportive in nature. Talk about each other, how much you miss each other. Share "The Moment" as something intimate and precious between you. Problems should be kept restricted to email/snail mail completely.
2. Enjoy friendships with coworkers, neighbors, friends of friends, but remember that you are living with an emotional deficit without your partner present on a daily basis. As such, you are susceptible to becoming needy by "crossing the line" and may allow friends to get too close.
   
   The last thing you want is to fall into an affair simply because you miss your mate. Keeping opposite-sex friends at arms' length by not getting together too often or sharing intimate phone conversations will help to keep your heart on the straight and narrow.
3. Send each other sexy letters to remind each other of your desire. Engage in a little giggly phone sex. Both partners should regularly send gifts, care packages and notes to let their other half know how much they care. It’s all a matter of keeping love alive and thriving, despite the distance involved.
4. If you can’t afford frequent trips home, sign up with a cell phone company that offers free “network” calling, enabling you and your spouse to communicate daily without having to be concerned about the number of minutes involved. Others use web cameras and microphones. Find a way that suits your needs best and research out the most economical plan available before making a long-term connection agreement.
5. Be sure to keep your children actively involved in your life and to stay abreast of theirs. Always speak to the kids when you call, even the infants. Make it a point to include some special quality time with your kids when you are able to visit the family. Regularly send them little gifts and letters to remind them how much you love them and how important they are to your life.
6. Communicate, especially when you are able to get a weekend or some leave time to spend together. It’s up to you and your partner working at your relationship to enable the two of you to stay so close through your communication with each other that nothing else, including distance, matters.

Tips & Warnings

• Be gentle with yourselves. Remember life is never easy for couples and families who choose to be geographically separated, but there is no easy life for couples and families involuntarily separated geographically by deployment, either. Some of us need to be reminded that when we're truly committed to someone, geography is basically nothing more than a state of mind.
• Never cancel a scheduled trip home to spend time together because of a sudden argument. Strive to work things out after you’ve arrived, when the two of you are able to talk face to face. Learn how to say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" as easily as you do the words, "I love you."