How to Sleep Better When Your Husband Snores

It sounds like a foghorn and drools like a camel. The humming begins then the vibrations get louder. The constant rumble, the tumble, the rockets red glare. The horns toot tooting. The flutes and the base. The nostrils all flared and ready for night. It's your husband snoring. He's asleep and you're not. It happens each night. Here are some tips to help you sleep better when your husband begins his sleep symphony.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. 

   It's hard to find sleep when no sheep are in sight. They probably ran out when you turned off the light. Everyone knows you cant go to sleep when thunder is rumbling up under the sheets. It's your husband you vowed till death parted you, but his snoring is horrid, now it's all up to you.

2. Each night when he's soon fast asleep in the bed, just flip him on over, not to bump his dear head. A man on his tummy will quietly sleep, not a sound should you hear, not even a peep! Should he awaken and roll on his back, just shove him back over and give him whack! Once he 's asleep like a wee tiny tot, pinch his nose tight till the snoring does stop.

3. Go back to sleep a few hours for you, for soon it will be more sounds from the zoo. The huffing, the puffing, the bed shaking all night. No peace for you yet, it's gonna be a long night. If hubby should twist and let out a big roar. Sit on his head and cover that snore.

4. He'll grapple for air then go limp for a while. You're use to that anyway, for it's been a while. Now that he's quiet, not even a snore, shove him off the bed and onto the floor. Sleep like an angel and the next day when he awakes. Tell him you love him, and "Oh, how about that earthquake?"