How to Welcome Your New Daughter-in-law Into the Family

Make your new daughter-in-law feel welcome.

Once the excitement of your son's wedding has died down, you are faced with the fact that your family has grown -- you now have a daughter-in-law. Whether you think she's the best thing that ever happened to your son or the worst, your family dynamic will be much smoother and more pleasant if you do your best to welcome your daughter-in-law into the family with open arms. If you are respectful and inclusive, she will most likely return the favor.

Instructions

1. Accept your new daughter-in-law for who she is. Refrain from criticizing her clothing, past behavior and career decisions. Instead, compliment her on things she does well, whether it's her amazing banana bread or her new promotion.

2. Include her in family emails and functions. Add her email address when you send out an email to all of your family members, and always invite her to family dinners, reunions and vacations, even if she doesn't always accept.

3. Take some time to get to know her one on one. Treat her to brunch or a spa day without your son in tow, and ask her questions about her interests, opinions and childhood. Discover things that you have in common with her and values that you share.

4. Share family stories with your new daughter-in-law. Tell her about the time your son opened a lemonade stand as a child, or about your own father's military service. The more she knows about your family, the more she will feel like a part of it.

5. Respect her opinions. Rather than contradicting her, say "I hadn't thought of it that way." If she and your son have a baby, trust their parenting judgment (unless they're doing something dangerous) and offer your opinion only when she asks for it.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't take sides when your son and daughter-in-law have their first fight. Being seen as a neutral party will make her feel more welcome and more respected.

• Sooner or later, the newlyweds will have their first argument. Do your best not to take sides or offer unwanted opinions or suggestions. If they do ask for your advice in the matter, give it diplomatically.

References

• Whole Family.com; Daughter-In-Law / Mother-in-Law Relationship: The Smooth and The Rough; Leah Averick

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish