How to Play Kingdom of Loathing as a Pastamancer

"Kingdom of Loathing:" It's a Parody. It's an RPG. It's stick figures. It's essentially one of the silliest, most addictive games on the Internet, with six glorious character classes to choose from. If you might choose to be a Pastamancer, you should read on.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Computer
• Internet Connection

1. Learn Pastamancer philosophy. Use your noodle! Pastamancers are the one class almost completely incapable of hand-to-hand combat after the first few levels. Unless you want a very slow slog through the game, you'll have to abandon fisticuffs for a bit and learn to sling spells.
2. Prepare before the spells. Although spell-slinging is an inevitability, mana is expensive. For as long as you can, try to kill enemies by wearing +stat equipment as you slowly gather up enough meat to pay for your skills and mana.
3. Learn the economy of spells. Once it's time for spells, start as small as you can. Minor Ray of Something may only do a little damage but can suffice at early levels. Note that eXtreme Ray does more and properly assisted, can carry you through much of the game. The higher-end spells have their place, but may not be needed until later; you'll need the meat for mana restores. And...
4. Boost spell damage. The best way to save meat as a Pastamancer is to do more damage with less mana. This means an offhand cookbook from your guild and a +spell damage weapon. If you can make a chefstaff, buy Spirit of Rigatoni, because chefstaffs transform you into a pasta powerhouse.
5. Don't get hit. You have few hit points and little defense, so you'd best not get injured. Springy Fusili will help make sure you get the jump, and your auto-attack should be set to Entangling Noodles to tie up the opponent while you fire off a few spells.
6. Pick an approach. Save meat in the early levels, and try to grab a few tomatoes from the Knob Kitchens so you can make spaghetti once you buy Pastamastery at lvl 5. Once you can't fight enemies without being crushed, it's time to buy a cookbook, load up on Mystery Juice and start spell-slinging. Any equipment that restores MP will be very useful. Heal up with Lasagna Bandages whenever you're low on HP - a stray hit could kill you.
7. Know what to keep. Entangling Noodles is highly effective for non-moxie classes, but Pastamastery makes food, which is highly effective for all classes.

Tips & Warnings

• The noodles you summon with Pastamastery can be smithed into a crossbow. Add cottage cheese to the crossbow, and you may be able to put off spell-slinging for another level.
• Spell-slinging is expensive. If you don't have meat in reserve, you may have to stop to farm for more.

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