How to Hear Your Baby's Birth Story

"It doesn't matter, they're not going to remember!" However, research has shown that babies can remember, and have been able to talk about, their own birth. Some can even recall their time spent in the womb. It is a common misconception that babies are underdeveloped beings who are ignorant to what is going on around them. In reality, they are very aware. Hearing your baby talk about their experiences at and before birth can be a deep experience, but the proper steps have to occur so that you do not lead their story.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• a 2 1/2 year old
• a quiet room
• no distractions

1. Observe your child during the first couple years of their life to see if they may have any memories of birth. For example, my friend's nephew had his arm strapped to his head by his umbilical cord in utero(and he was birthed that way, too!). One mannerism that he now has is holding his arm close to his ear when he is in deep thought or trying to go to sleep, probably something familiar from being in the womb.

2. Avoid talking to your baby about their birth until they are able to have that conversation with you. This is usually between 2 1/2 years and 3 years old. Saying anything before then may lead your child's account, causing them to repeat your memories instead of their own.

3. When you feel it's time, make sure that the two of you are in a comfortable and quiet room. Make sure you ask open ended questions. Rather than "Were you cold when you were born?", ask "What was it like when you were born?" or "What is the first thing you remember?"

4. As your child talks about the memories, ask many sensory questions. Ask what they heard or saw. Ask what they felt. You can even ask pre-birth questions such as, "What was it like before you came out?"

5. If your child is hesitant to recount something, remember to be comforting. Your child could be remembering something traumatic. Hold their hand and ask about what they felt, then bring the conversation to a safer memory -- such as being in the womb.

Tips & Warnings

• An article called "Birth Memories: Does your child remember?" by Linda Mathison is a helpful resource.
• Also try "Natal and Pre-Natal Memories" by David B. Chamberlain, Ph.D.
• If your child is speaking in present tense, as if in the moment, make sure you change your tense as well. Ask "What do you feel now?" rather than "What did it feel like?"