How to Fish for Compliments

Although it may not be the most honorable practice, we have all felt the need to fish for compliments at one time or another in our lives. We may have needed them to boost our body image, shake off a bad feeling about work or simply get through a bad hair year. When performed in moderation, fishing for compliments can be a good way of improving self-esteem. Read on to learn more.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Identify a target object/area in your life or on your person that has been bugging you. What part of your body, outfit, marriage or career has been eating away at your confidence? Is it really something negative? Or, are you not receiving enough positive feedback about it?
2. Identify a target subject who is likely to throw you a bone. Do you have a boyfriend, best friend or sibling who admires you enough to compliment you? Or, are they at least is kind enough to respond to your fishing?
3. Move in with the fishing line. The fishing line must either be absurd enough to warrant an immediate response in the other direction--like, “Ugh, I gained like 300 pounds this month"--or dejected enough to warrant a thoughtful and caring response in the other direction--like, “I’ll just never be good enough for him.”
4. Wait for the required amount of time for your friend/boyfriend/sibling to take the bait and realize that he or she is obligated by a tacit law of humanity to dispel your negative image of yourself.
5. Tease out the compliment further by retorting with another negative comment that is phrased differently but getting at the same issue that’s bothering you. Wait for a follow-up compliment.

Tips & Warnings

• Vary the person you fish out compliments from. You’ll know if he or she is onto you by the silence that follows your negative remark. There’s nothing more frustrating--and, at times, humiliating--than waiting for a compliment that never comes. Change up who you hook and you’ll get more mileage out of fishing.
• If your problem can’t be solved with a simple compliment, even when it is not entirely sincere, consider really talking about insecurities with a good, honest friend, a blunt but loving mother or a professional.