How to Work Through Grief

This is to help everyone heal from the loss of a loved one. Grief is something that we all will have to deal with at sometime in our life. Loss is not always through death. We have to go through grief when we lose a relationship or a relationship changes. We need to grieve when or if we go through divorce or a child leaves home for college. If you have a child who gets married or moves away or is angry with you, that is another reason to grieve. There is grief through good changes too. If a child moves away for a good job or marriage this is also a loss. This will help you to heal from any kind of loss.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Journal, Paper, Pen, Telephone

1. Losing someone through death it is an obvious loss. Recognizing your grief and what it is about i is the first step. Some are very obvious. If a friend or family member has died you know why you are feeling grief. This is not always as easy as it seems. If you are experiencing grief over a relationship or loss over a change in your life it can be a little more elusive.
2. Write down the name of the person that you are grieving over. If it is not a person but a change of some kind, such as a friend moving away, write down the reason you are feeling grief. Try to pour out your feelings on paper. Journal on a blog or privately on your computer. If you have a photograph of the person or something that symbolizes the event, put it out where you can see it. Some people think that this makes it worse. It doesn't. It will help you work through your grief and later you can put it away or it will lose it's power over you. It won't keep you stuck in your grief.
3. Pray! A vital step in your process of working through grief is to pray. I probably should have had that as your first step. I think it is something that should be required in all the steps of working through grief. If you are more of a private person you can pray alone. I have found that it helps to ask others to pray with and for me. If you are not comfortable with that, you can ask a minister or a prayer group to pray for you. You can do it anonymously.
4. Talk, talk, talk and vent. If the grief is about a loss over abuse or addiction, divorce or estrangement, it is vital to vent. Scream, hit pillows, use physical activity. Do aerobics, dance, anything that gets the feelings and rage out. Cry and feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes you are the only one who will feel sorry for you. Go for it! Find a support group if you need one. There are many of them out there.
5. Find quiet, solitude, and peace. Make a safe place for yourself in your home. If you are like me, I like to find a quiet place in the country where I can see horses, animals, and nature. There is something very healing about nature and our earth that God created. Nurture yourself. These steps are all intertwined. You can skip back and forth. Remember the stages of grief.
   
   1. Denial
   2. Bargaining
   3. Sadness
   4. Anger
   5. Acceptance
   
   Feel! Your feelings will jump back and forth. Eventually even though we may not like the circumstances or the loss, we will come to a place of acceptance. God bless you and I hope you find healing in your grief. I know it is not easy but it is the only way to find healing.