How to Deal With a Passive-aggressive Person

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By Natalie Hernandez
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Passive-aggressive personality is basically someone who has a pattern of negative attitudes, and is passive.
They deal with their anger and issues in a passive yet aggressive way.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Patience
Understanding
Self Control

Step 1

Inside a passive-aggressive person's mind they are resisting the demands put on them by others. They often refuse to do something and put if off or make excuses about doing them. This personality trait makes it difficult for them in the work area and their social life.
Step 2

If you find yourself coming in contact with a person with passive-aggressive disorder then the best thing you can do is try and be supportive as much you can. Do not let yourself feel guilty for them. It is their problem and they need to learn to control it themselves. You can not control them and their behavior is theirs alone.
Step 3

Do not allow them to get away with this behavior, make them feel comfortable and able to talk to you. If they can open up to someone they trust then it can help them to calm down, relax and be open about their problems.
Step 4

Confront them, if you catch them being dishonest or making excuses simply bring it to their attention. Letting them know that you are aware of the issues at hand will let them know you are not going to deal with it. If you ignore their behavior it will only reinforce it in their eyes and they will continue to act this way.
Step 5

There is no known cure for this personality disorder yet. There are medications and counseling offered to someone with this disorder although there is no cure. It will be with them for life.

Comments

igas said

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on 9/23/2009 Go to therapy with the PA or without the PA. You can learn how to react in a positive way. No one can change another...only oneself. So you will chage how you react. You will feel so much better about yourself.

ashfeather said

on 7/10/2009 Passive aggressive people will just say something like, "well now I feel like ****.. thanks." Instead of taking your help. What do you then? My marriage is on the rocks right now due to his P.A. behaviors. The lies, now I cant trust. The not looking within, but blaming. Where is the hope? I would appreciate if you could possibly find some time to talk via private messages. Do you know what I mean? 5*s though, because these tips will work if the person is willing to change. How do you know though?

hnatalieann said

on 7/7/2009 That's why I say as much as you can, that could be very little depending on the person!

alfaprima said

on 7/7/2009 I have a concern with this piece of advice:
"the best thing you can do is try and be supportive as much you can"
This is suggesting that you can risk becoming part of the PA system without serious consequences for yourself and your identity! I don't believe that you can be supportive of a behavior that is basically sabotaging your best relationship and your own projects, all in order to continue with a childish power/control attitude by means of resistance. It is better to have clearly delineated what are your own projects, what is your life project, and support your own goals with persistance. Otherwise, after sosme time of supporting him, you will not know who you are!
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