How to Teach Toddlers Talking Versus Biting

Mothers often ask me what to do about a toddler’s biting. Parents wonder if biting means that their child is headed in a negative direction. If you’ve ever had your child bite down on his playmate, you know how shocking this can be. You’re embarrassed, you scold your toddler and he ends up crying. You’re concerned about the child who was bitten and the other parent is worried too. Everyone is concerned about how to handle it. Parents wonder if biting will become a habit. Let me reassure you that biting is a phase, and while your child will outgrow it, he still needs attention and good guidance. A toddler has a lot to learn, including managing her emotions. She needs to learn to talk about what is bothering her, instead of biting. Here are ways to teach talking instead of biting.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Willingness to drop what you're doing in order to teach your toddler

1. Help your toddler manage his emotions. Biting is a sign of frustration. Toddlers experience a wide range of emotions. They can go from being happy to frustrated very quickly. She’s happy to play with the puzzle, but when she can’t make the piece fit she gets mad. She may pat and hug her playmate and then express her excitement by biting. She hasn't learned yet that biting hurts.
2. Comfort the other child. If your child bites a playmate, the first thing to do is comfort the other child. That way you let the biter know that if she bites she won’t get the attention first.
3. Remove your child. Calmly remove the child who is biting. Give her a minute to relax. Sit on the floor at eye-eye level, gently put your hands on her shoulders, and say in a firm but friendly voice, “Don’t bite. Biting hurts.”
4. Encourage him to use words instead of biting. If a toddler bites or hits, give him a one or two-minute time out. Then tell him, “It’s not OK to bite,” or “It’s not OK to hit.”
5. Distract your child. Toddlers have short attention spans, so when they’re unhappy with what they are doing, give them something else to do. “Since you’re mad at the puzzle, come play with the ball.” By labeling the feeling and giving them something constructive to do you are teaching them how to handle frustrations. When you distract him, you’re showing him that when he's mad it’s often more fun to walk away.
6. Avoid yelling. Biting is a definite no-no, but you don’t need to yell it in order for a toddler to hear. Toddlers understand "no" very quickly. Simple say "no" firmly and repeat this phrase, “No biting.”