How to Cope With the Death of a Friend

When a friend dies, it can be difficult to move past the mourning. You must give yourself time and treat yourself with compassion. Remember that, as painful as this is, you will recover.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Validate the severity of your grief. Do not feel guilty if the loss of a friend seems more profound than that of a family member. It doesn't mean that you love your family less. We often develop bonds with friends that go beyond blood relations. If your best friend happens to be a family member or spouse it is all the more difficult to cope.

2. Find engaging activities to replace the time you shared with your friend, including chatting on the phone. If you conversed frequently, you may face months of painful reminders whenever the phone rings.

3. 
   Reach out to others to better cope with your loss.

   Don't isolate. Remain in contact with others, especially friends and loved ones. After coping with the acute phase of a friend's death, it is important to reach out to others. If you've ignored some relationships, in lieu of your friendship, rebuild and refortify them.

4. You may feel overwhelmed with the feelings that no one will understand you as your friend once did. Tell yourself that other rewarding close relationships are likely as long as you remain open to them.

5. Try journaling or poetry whenever you feel a desperate need to call your friend. A distinct difficulty in coping with the death of a friend is feeling the need to share your grief with the person you've lost, especially if the friend was your primary source of support.

6. Don't force yourself to forget your friend. Think of how this person enriched your life and remember the support, laughter and love you shared. Carry on some of the things you shared and introduce others to these activities. Let the mourning pass naturally.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid building a wall around your heart for fear of losing someone else and suffering similar pain.
• Some people benefit from dedicating a website to a friend or making a donation to a charitable cause in the person's name.
• If you are experiencing severe depression, consult a health professional.

[browneyes26]

on 4/7/2009 I just found out yesterday that a good friend of mine was killed in an accident 4 years ago and I didn't even know. We lost contact with each other after he moved away. I searched for him online and ran across an article on google. The article said he was deceased. I'm totally devastated over this. His name was Jonathan. I loved him very much and always will. I would give anything to get the chance to see him one last time.

[Goodbye]

on 8/24/2008 I found this site while surfing the web... needed to say some things and really didn't want to share with people I knew.

I just lost a good close friend a few weeks ago. I won't go into the details other than to say it was an accident and I was there and saw her die.

Its been hard dealing with it, can't really say whats in my mind and in my heart to anyone close because its too personel. I doubt that anyone I know will read this and thats ok. Its sometimes easier expressing things to strangers than those you know.

I guess I should say I didn't know how deeply I felt about her until she died, She was a good friend who I cared about very much. We had a relationship that was not defined in normal terms. We cared and loved each other and she was my friend. She was there for me when I was going through some really bad times and I was there for her when she went through some bad tim

[jpwhickson]

on 2/14/2008 It is harder when the friend is family.