How to Support a Family in Mourning

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By Sandra Choukroun
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Your support to a grieving family can make a tremendous difference.

When there is a death in the family, support from others can make the grief easier to bear. Receiving care and comfort can counter the loss the family has experienced. It's also a way to set an example for children that death, however painful, can eventually open possibilities for healing.

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Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Determine if immediate action is needed when you hear about the death. List any family members that may need to be picked. Determine if your assistance is needed at the hospital. Consider if there are any small children that need a place to stay.
Step 2

See what kind of help is needed during the planning for the funeral. Tidying the house, ordering supplies or phoning relatives and friends may be required. Help to care for pets, who sense the change in the environment and may need special attention.
Step 3

Think about food. Bring meals to the family or arrange for others to bring them. Be prepared to fetch people at the airport, train or bus station. Put out the trash and take in the newspapers.
Step 4

Listen to the family's account of what happened. Repeating it will help them to process the experience. Encourage the family to tell you about the person who died. Listen empathetically.
Step 5

Offer to stay in the house during the funeral for security and to be there to open the door for deliveries.
Step 6

Be sensitive to the needs of the family. Each person reacts individually to a loss, and it's unnerving to have the daily routine upset.
Step 7

Call the family often in the weeks and months after the death. Invite their participation in activities you enjoy.

Tips & Warnings

If the loss was particularly shattering (a suicide or a child), be guided by the family on how it is discussed.
While you're busy taking care of this family, don't neglect your own. Let them know what to expect, when you will be out and when you will return.
Children often need special help to deal with death. If your child is the friend of someone who has experienced a death, teach your child how to respond.

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