How to Send a Sexy Care Package to Your Deployed Sweetheart

Want to send a sexy care package to your deployed sweetie? Here are some tips for creating a tasteful yet enticing Valentine's Day surprise.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Photographer
• Sexy clothing in your sweetie's favorite colors
• Makeup: blush and eye shadow, red or bright colored lipstick
• Lip gloss, lip liner and eye liner
• baby oil
• Sturdy box with a lid
• Strapping tape
• Popped popcorn for filler (use real popcorn...even if it winds up getting a little stale it will still be a taste of home. Leave out the butter and salt).
• Small gifts: novelty items, snack foods, playing cards, an iPod loaded with your favorite songs, a pair of ear buds
• Silly String (the guys use it to detect IEDs and traps by spraying it ahead of them)

Glamour Shots

1. Focus on your hair. Bend over and brush your hair while upside down. This will poof it up a little and add body, plus give you that "just got out of bed" look. Take a very tiny amount of baby oil and rub it in both palms. Run your hands over your hair. This will make your hair shine. Arrange your hair the way your sweetie likes it best: up, down or loose.
2. Get your skin ready. Using the baby oil again, put a tiny amount in your hands and rub them together. Oil every visible bit of skin on arms, legs and abdomen. Do not oil your face.
3. Be sure your fingernails and toenails are done in a pretty color that will complement your lipstick color. Go ahead and splurge on a French manicure.
4. Put on your sexiest outfit, but don't go overboard. You want to look enticing without looking tarted up (unless, like Dog Chapman, your man likes tarted up. Dog actually said this to Beth on a show once when she was getting ready for a date night with him).
5. Do a little research--look at some lingerie ads. Victoria's Secret is a good place to start. Notice the poses used in the ads. Practice one or more of the poses you think your sweetie would like.
6. Do your makeup. If you do not usually wear any, have a friend help with this. Do your eyes, lips and cheeks. Use lip liner for a more polished look and top off with a bright lip gloss. Practice your pout.
7. Use a tripod to take your photos yourself or have a discreet friend or a professional do it for you.

Make a Care Package

8. Find a sturdy box with a lid. The ideal package should be about the size of a shoe box.
9. Put a layer of real popcorn in the bottom of the box for padding, then nestle all the items you have gathered in the box. Fill the remaining space with more real popcorn.
10. Avoid things like chocolate, which will melt in the extreme temperatures in Iraq and Afghanistan. Better choices: jerky, granola bars, toaster pastries, single serve cereals or chips. Bottled water and non carbonated drinks work well also. Carbonated drinks may burst in the package, so avoid them.
11. Don't forget to include your sexy photos in a little photo album or load them onto the iPod if you have included one in your care package.
12. Use strong strapping tape to securely close the box. Address it correctly.
13. Put on your favorite lipstick and seal the box with a kiss. Spritz the box with vanilla, cinnamon, ginger or any citrus scent. If you use floral perfume, the popcorn in the box will take on the scent and your sweetie won't be able to enjoy it.
14. Be sure to insure your package if the items inside are worth more than $100. Be prepared to be told your package cannot be insured if you are sending it to a war zone.

Tips & Warnings

• Be very careful about nudity, as you never know if your photos could wind up in someone else's hands other than your sweetie's.
• Do not oil your face. You do not want too much shine on your forehead, nose or chin.