How to Deal with a Habitually Tardy Person

There you are again. Waiting for that person who always is late. Sure, there are always very good reasons and excuses. But, isn't it funny how most people manage to be on time. Chronic lateness can be a sign of absentmindedness, selfishness or poor management skills. But it doesn't really matter, the result is the same.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Ask the person what time they really mean when they make an appointment. If she makes a date for coffee at 10, poke further. "Do you mean 10:15? It seems you are always a little late." Perhaps the person isn't even aware of their tardiness.

2. Be prepared to wait. You've decided to overlook the chronic tardiness and keep the relationship. Always have things to do while you wait: balance bank statement, catch up on reading, clean out wallet, return phone calls.

3. Stick to your schedule. You have agreed to meet for coffee at 10 a.m. and you need to leave by 11:15. Just because your friend is late, doesn't mean your schedule needs to be adjusted. Stick to your timeline-maybe it will help your friend stick to theirs.

4. Start lying. If you know someone is habitually 15 minutes late, tell that person that your 11:15 meeting is for 11. Show up at 11:10. If, for once, they showed up on time and had to wait for you, apologize and don't feel badly. They owe you.

5. Have Plan B. If you have waited 15 minutes and haven't heard from the other party, move on. No need to reward the behavior. Remember that waiting fifteen minutes is the rule of thumb. After that, you can always leave.

Tips & Warnings

• If the lateness is interfering with the relationship, maybe it is time to end it. Nothing says "I care nothing about you" more than being habitually late.

[yenora]

on 9/30/2008 Great article. I have a friend who probably will be late for her own funeral. Drives me up the proverbial wall. Yenora