How to Meet/Introduce Yourself to a Child with Autism

A lot of people are uncomfortable speaking with chidren and adults with disabilities. They are not sure exactly what to say or how to act. With 1 in 150 children being diagnosed with Autism, it is important that you have an understanding of how to act with them and their parents. Here are some tips to having a great introduction to a child with autism.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Understanding
• Respect

1. CHANGE YOUR THINKING
   
   Think of Autism as a Diagnosis - not a definition.
   
   
   *First of all, change your verbage! Do not label a child "Autistic" He/she is a "child diagnosed with Autism."
   
   ie. Oh, my friend Ron has a child diagnosed with Autism.
   
   *Autism is a diagnosis. This means that it is diagnosed based on certain symptoms, 3 actually. 1) developmental delays in communication 2) developmental delays in social interaction 3) atypical play behavior.
   
   * Remember that every child develops differently and is unique. Most kids with Autism have some sort of sensory sensitivity. Such as being undersensitive to where he is in space (would enjoy crashing into things, big hugs) or oversensitive to sound (may put hands over ears). So, think of these kiddos not just as having Autism, but in terms of their sensory profile.
   
   *Every child with Autism is VERY different. Because it is a diagnosis based on three vague areas. The child you are going to meet may be really talkative, overtly social and have a few atypical behaviors, nonverbal, not making eye contact and playing with toys atypically or anywhere in between. Don't make judgement before you get there and meet him/her.
2. MEET THE CHILD
   
   Now, that we know they are just like any other kiddo, having strengths and delays (sensory, verbal, social). You should be ready to treat them just like any other child you meet for the first time - with respect!
   
   *Make sure you say "Hi" and "Bye" to the child in question whether he/she looks like they are noticing you or not.
   
   *When meeting a child with Autism who is not making eye contact, maybe crouch down next to him/her and say hi and comment on what they are doing and something nice about it. "Hi Jenny. Wow, I see your making a big tower of blocks. That looks great. I'm going to go talk with mommy now."
   
   * I think the worst thing you can do to offend/hurt a parent is not treat their child for what he/she is an amazing kiddo! (we may just not know how far he/she has come when first meeting them) So, ignoring him/her and treating them completely different is unacceptable.
   
   *Treat them like a child whether they are excited to see you, shy, or looking like they are in their own world.
3. WHAT IF HE/SHE THROWS A TANTRUM WHILE I AM THERE
   
   *Try not to act like it is that big of a deal. People get upset, this is her way of showing she/he is having trouble dealing with something.
   
   *Ask mom/dad if there is anything you can do to help. Some kiddos w/ autism don't really tantrum, some will get upset, but be able to self-regulate, some have trouble regulating and will be upset for long periods of time. Be patient w/ mom or dad as they do what they need to do to help their child.
4. WHAT DO I DO IF I SEE THEM DOING SOMETHING KIND OF STRANGE LIKE FLAPPING
   
   *You do absolutely nothing. Don't make a big deal out of it. Because it is not that big of a deal, even if it may be inappropriate. Kids with autism generally do this because it is pleasing to their sensory profile. They like how it feels to look out of the corner of their eye, or to walk on tippy toes. It makes them feel safe when there are a lot of unknown things going on outside of them. This is the same for perseverative behavior such as doing something over and over and over again (ie. lining up cars). It is something they know and tend to do when he/she feels anxious, there is something new or sensory which he/she doesn't know how to deal with. Also, a lot of times flapping is part of an expression of joy! He/she is REALLY excited and that is how they are expressing it. Just like clapping or slapping your knee when you laugh really hard.
5. WHAT DO I SAY TO THE PARENT
   
   *If the parent brings it up, find something positive the child did to comment on. "He had good eye contact" "He seems to be good with building." and if you didn't get to interact with him/her comment on a positive physical attribute or observation "He is such a cutie!" do not lie, find something true that you noticed.
   
   * If the parent does not comment on "Autism" in general, you shouldn't either, once again unless to say something positive you really want to share. As long as you treat their child like a "child" not some foreign object, this will be completely acceptable. They already have a lot of opinions coming at them.
   
   * Being a parent of a child with a disability is stressful. Families really need friends/family who aren't going to be judgemental and who love their child for her strengths and weaknesses. And who aren't going to act weird every time their wonderful child is around.
   
   *Also do NOT compare their child to other kids with Autism you have seen. Every child is different.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't feel ashamed to be uncomfortable. Everyone feels a little uncomfortable in a new situation. Hopefully with knowledge that uncomfort will go away.