How to Exit, Gracefully (for men)

The gentleman leaves quietly, gracefully, and graciously, be the situation a job or a marriage. Even his life. He may be justified in fury, in heartbreak, have every right to demand ‘why?’. But if he does, he does so privately, and with those closest around him.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• A sense of grace

1. Leave a job gracefully.
   Was there, in entertainment history, a more graceful exit than Mr. Johnny Carson? His last show was, true to his word, his last show. He conducted few interviews about it. He declined to take place in tributes and retrospectives. He thanked the viewers who had made his job a pleasure - as opposed to his predecessor, Jack Paar, who famously resigned in a sulk, when he was not granted absolute "freedom of speech" on network television.
2. Leave a party or social engagement gracefully.
   If someone thought enough of you to invite you to dinner, a party, or some other function – and presuming there were no hostilities – then that person deserves to feel that he or she pleased you. After all, he or she intended to do so.
   If it was a delight, then say so, and promise to reciprocate some time soon.
   Tell your host what pleased you most, be it the good company, perhaps the great food, or wine.
   If the engagement was a disaster – tell your host what pleased you most, anyway. Surely something wasn’t a disaster. And if your host knows it was a disaster, assure him or her that you were not offended, bored, etc.
3. Leave a relationship or marriage gracefully.
   Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller could have told a thousand secrets and sordid tales about Marilyn Monroe. But neither did.
   Both too could have defended themselves against public ire, but neither did. A Victorian book of etiquette suggested that a gentleman accept the blame for a terminated engagement – perhaps that is a bit extreme. But he need not protest his innocence in the matter, either.
4. Leave health gracefully.
   As Charlton Heston proved, a man can leave even his sensibilities gracefully. In his announcement, he told the press that they would see far less of him. And he asked, in advance, forgiveness and indulgence for the quirks which would grow in severity. “If I tell you the same joke, laugh anyway,” he said. …
5. Leave life, gracefully.
   British newspapers used to announce a fellow’s passing in that he’d died “of an illness poorly borne.” That’s right, he died kicking and screaming.
   It is far easier said than done, but Arthur Ashe proved that a man can leave even his life, gracefully. There were no words of fury … as his health declined, he stayed out of the public eye, preferring to be remembered as a champion. Which he was.