How to Name Your Son After Yourself

The birth of a son is often a major event in the life of a man. It stirs up his latest dynastic urges. Since he feels this son will ensure him a measure of immortality, he naturally considers naming the son after himself. But what's the right way to go about doing this?

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Fifty years ago it was not uncommon for a man to slap his eldest son with the handle "John Smith Jr." and not think twice about it. But at some point the general public began to associate the name "Junior" with whiny, sissy-boy qualities and parents started rethinking their naming patterns.
2. Now if you go according to the etiquette books—and few Americans do--juniors don't remain juniors their whole life. By way of illustration, let's say John William Smith has two sons, John William Jr. and Thomas Edward. John William Jr. fathers John William III, who in turn fathers John William IV. Thomas Edward fathers John William II, who fathers John William III. This is naturally confusing in that it allows for two men with the exact same name and numeral. When John Sr. dies John Jr. drops the junior and John III becomes John Jr. Thomas' descendants don't change their names. This procedure is rarely observed however. Naturally if the first bearer of a name is very famous (John F. Kennedy, Theodore Roosevelt, Hank Williams) it's confusing and kind of ridiculous for the namesake son to drop his junior. A few years ago, Frank Sinatra Jr. announced he wanted to be known from now on as Frank Sinatra. Needless to say no one paid him any mind. The etiquette mavens also say that "II" refers to nephews, grandson or cousins of the original bearer, but in recent decades many people have used it as being a more hoity-toity version of junior. Another argument against the suffix-changing is that generally the kind of men who like to name their sons after themselves enjoy the impressive sound of numerals. Studies show that juniors often feel burdened by their suffixes, but that men with numerals regard them as badges of family pride. Europeans regard the American custom of bestowing numerals as pretentious and vulgar, feeling that numerals should be used only by sovereigns.
3. European men rarely name their sons exactly after themselves. Often they bestow more than one middle name, particularly if they are Catholic. While such a practice can become unwieldy on official documents, it does increase the options for what the child can be called in everyday usage.
4. Some families alternate names with every generation. The Ford auto manufacturing family produced, in a direct line, Henry Ford, Edsel Bryant Ford, Henry II, Edsel II and Henry III. That system tends to work better than flip-flopping first and middle names: John William Smith, William John Smith, John William II, William John II, John William III and so on. That could definitely make for confusion at family gatherings, especially if the men are prone to longevity.
5. Another option is to pass down the same first name through the generations but give different middle names, often the maiden name of the child's mother, or to use different first names but pass down one middle name.
6. Keep in mind that junior and other suffixes are legitimate only if the names of the bearers are exactly the same. George Walker Bush is not a junior because his father's full name is George Herbert Walker Bush. And if we can invoke the Sinatras again, Frank Jr. is technically not a junior. Frank Sr.'s name was Francis Albert and his son's is Franklin Wayne Emmanuel, although naturally for show business reasons the son saw the value of adopting the junior. And in Frank Sr.'s will he refers to his son as "Francis."

Tips & Warnings

• Some baby name books suggest making names up, but this way madness lies. Don't fall victim to the trendy custom of giving your child a grotesquely misspelled name in an attempt to make your child seem "unique." Leave that to his personality. Weird spellings only make the parents seem illiterate and condemn the child to a lifetime of explaining how his name is pronounced.
• A word to the wise: The author went to high school with a young man who zealously kept his middle name secret. Finally, on graduation night he revealed he'd been named in honor of his father Gaylord and mother Marion. His middle name was "Gaymar."

Who Can Help: