How to Stop Feeling Like a Bad Parent

Parenting is a tough job and most parents have moments in which they question whether or not they're a good at it. Many parents have even had times when they've sat down and said aloud "I'm such a bad parent." Most of the time it's not true, but if you're constantly feeling like a bad parent, it can make you a less effective one. If you take a hard look at yourself as a parent, you'll probably discover you're not that bad after all.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Stop comparing yourself to other parents. You are your own kind of parent and as long as your children are happy, healthy and well-cared for there's no reason you have to be like anyone else. The mother who attend all the PTA meetings and the dad who coaches all the teams, isn't automatically a better parent than you are, they're just parenting in the way that works for them.
2. Remember that your children love you and losing your temper once in a while won't change that. It's okay to regret yelling when you get frustrated but it doesn't make you a bad parent--just a stressed out one. Just apologize for losing it. Do seek some help or support though if yelling is your only way of communicating with your children.
3. Forget about everybody else's expectations of you as a parent and figure out what you think makes a good parent. Write down what you expect from yourself and brainstorm ways to make those things happen. If you're unsure as to what makes a good parent consider taking a parenting class at your local hospital or community center.
4. Keep in mind that there are times when you'll have to be the bad guy. Whether that means revoking a privilege, refusing to buy your child the latest (and most expensive) fad or just saying no, it's bound to make you feel bad. Feeling badly that your child is upset isn't the same thing as feeling like a bad parent.
5. Avoid dwelling on mistakes and reading too much into your actions. Parents make mistakes--own up to them and correct them in the future, but don't assume that because you said something inappropriate or mean to your child that he's going to be emotionally scarred for life.
6. Expect to sound like your own parents once in a while. You may have vowed never to do or say a certain thing because you didn't like it when your parents did it. The reality is that we are the sum of our experience and it's not unlikely that you will slip up. It's not a big deal.
7. Seek help if you are so overwhelmed that you are thinking about harming your child. At that moment walk away and call a 24/7 support hotline like the Parental Stress Service's Family Hotline. The parental Stress Service can be reached at [phone] or by visiting their website (see Resources below).

Tips & Warnings

• Keep track of and analyze the incidents that have you feeling like a bad parent. It's possible that there are things you can to change about the way you interact with your children to make the parent-child relationship better.