How to FOOTBALL FOR DUMMIES

Ok many want to understand football this is the best way to descibe the game for those who wish to learn.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• tv
• patience

1. First off a football field is 100 yards. From the center of the field to the right and left there are lines. The long lines that stretches across the width of the field is a 5 yard line. It goes (50 yard line,45 yd line,40 yd line,35yard,30 yd,25 yd,20,15yd,10,5yd and the end zone)
   
   THE SMALL LINES between those long lines are one yard lines usually 4 of these lines for every long line.
   
   The object of the game is for the team to score points(Touchdown 6-points or field goal 3 points) They can do this by getting the ball into the end zone a.k.a touchdown zone or by kicking a field goal.. Which is when a kicker kicks the ball inside the tall 50 feet high fork shaped post on either end of the field.
2. There are 10 yards for every first down. If the ball is on the 35 yard line, they must get the ball 10 yards further from that point to keep possesion of the ball. They have 4 downs to do this. It repeats until they get into the end zone.(THE DEFENSE)is the opposing team. There job is to stop the offense from getting into the end zone.
3. For example:
   *you and i are standing in the middle of the street.
   *your house is in back of you and my house is in back of me.
   *I have cookies inside you have cookies.
   If i(offense) want your cookies i have to get past you (defense) to get into your home(end zone).
   ONCE I get inside and get a cookie(POINT)I give you a chance. This time it's YOUR turn to try to get my cookie.
   We have 4 (15 minute) quarters to continue this until the time is up. Who ever has the most cookies win.
4. The quarterback is the man in the middle of the field with his hand up under the guys butt whose bent over. LOL.His job is to get the ball and chose to throw or hand it to a runningback to run for yards.
   the four or five men on the front line are the offensive line (quarterback protectors). They protect the quarterback from the guys rushing in who's trying to tackle him or get the ball from him.
5. The guys standing in back of the quarterback are running backs.
   They run the ball forward to gain yards if the quarterback choose to give them the ball.
   The guys on the far right and left of the field are wide receivers. Their job is to run 10 yards or more in case the quarterback decides to throw the ball to get even closer to the end zone.
6. If the offense cannot get 10 yards for a first down, or a touchdown, within 4 downs, they kick the ball back to the other team to give them a chance to score on the opposite end of the field. Now the offense who once had the ball becomes the defense, trying to stop the other team from scoring.

Tips & Warnings

• It's simple if you just observe.
• Ask as muc questions as possible if need to. Those who know the game will explain unless they're being a dick. If you havent figured the game out by half time..........YOU ARE A RETARD!!!