How to Protect a Child from Sexual Predators

Children see the world through the eyes of wonder and innocence. It is tragic that they are such easy prey for predators and parents are faced with the daunting task of protecting their child without introducing too much information inappropriately. These tips are meant to help parents find such a balance while addressing the serious dangers of child sexual predators.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Clear age-appropriate dialogue with your child
• Community awareness and involvement
• Diligent monitoring of child's play areas and internet use

1. Very young children often do not see danger until it is too late. It is one thing for parents to teach young ones the dangers of traffic and entirely another to teach them about sexual predators. Their frame of reference is very limited and the language can simply be too confusing for them to process. It is best to teach them first about themselves, that their bodies are private and that no one should ask them to do anything with their bodies that the do not want to do. Give an example they can understand, such as if someone asks you to sit on their lap and you do not want to then you have every right to say no. Teaching young children that they have rights is empowering to them. A child who feels a sense of ownership about their bodies is less likely to be talked into doing something that makes them uncomfortable. This dialogue can begin as early as 3 or 4 years old and should be expanded gradually as they mature.
2. Children at the elementary level can begin to understand scenarios where they should feel free to say no and to say it firmly. There is no reason to go into graphic details. Simply letting them know that all strangers should be treated like strangers is a basic rule of thumb. Have open dialogue about hypothetical situations. Ask them what they should do or say if certain things should occur and do role playing to reinforce proper responses. Establish a password that is known only to you and your child. Do not let a family member or neighbor pick your child up without knowing this password. Tell your child that even if they know the person picking them up if they cannot tell them the password do not go with them. Remember, making sure the password is given to appropriate persons is not the child's responsibility, it is yours. This practice keeps your child prepared to say no even in situations that may seem safe. Most child sexual predators are experts at making children feel safe, so this is a good exercise in keeping your child focused on their safety only.
3. Train your child to protect himself if he feels threatened. Practice being the "bad stranger" and show your child how to scream and run away or to make a loud scene that would be hard for people around to ignore. Teach them some of the tricks that predators use, such as "help me find my lost puppy," and other tactics that a child might view as harmless. Teach them to never give out personal information to anyone unless you are present to approve it.
4. If you community has a community watch program, get involved. If not, consider starting one. Make sexual predators a topic of priority and solicit police officers or social workers to speak to your community about how to effectively monitor the neighborhood. Check with your police department to determine if any convicted predators are living in your area. While you will probably be tempted emotionally to act if a predator is living nearby, the law is clear and your goal should be to aggressively protect your child and monitor the area at all times. Letting your anger guide you will distract you from the important work of teaching your child how to stay safe.
5. Parents must recognize that child sexual predators no longer hide in the shadows of playgrounds and schools. The Internet has opened a whole new world of dangers for children. Be very aware of what your child is doing on the Internet and where they are surfing. It is not uncommon for research for a school project to land a young child at an adult website. Use filtering software and do not let young children have unlimited access to the computer.
6. Do your research for books that can help open up communication on this sensitive subject. Parents must get creative about addressing this issue and not simply ignore it because it is uncomfortable. Children are our most precious resource and they depend upon us to do the hard work of making their world safe.

Tips & Warnings

• Be honest. If your child asks you direct questions, give them honest answers. If you feel they are too young for the details, tell them exactly that. Don't make something up.
• If you have a convicted child predator in your neighborhood, you absolutely must tell your child. Be careful not to alarm them to the point they are afraid to go outside, but make sure they understand why they need to pay special attention.
• Set rules for how often your child should check in with you when playing outdoors and what their boundaries are.
• If your child is separated from you while shopping, they should not go in search of you; instead, they should find a store clerk to assist them.
• Be aware if your child is alone at the same time of day. Predators often monitor children's daily habits.