How to Pill a Cat

We love our pets, and when they get sick, we want the best for them. But, being the ignorant little creatures they are, even the most gentle cat can become dangerous when panicky or insulted. Over the years, I've developed a nearly foolproof method for getting a pill into a cat without having to get stitches. Here's my method.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• A sick cat
• Pills prescribed by a veterinarian
• a lap
• two functional hands
• butter or chicken fat(optional, and only as a last resort)

1. Catch the cat without alarming him or her. If the cat suspects something is going down, he or she will be harder to catch and harder to pill. An ideal way to do this is: don't look at the cat; stroll past casually, then swoop down and gather the little beast in your arms.
2. Kneel on the floor, or sit cross-legged, with the cat on your lap. The cat's back should be facing your chest. Talk to the cat normally. If you usually talk baby-talk to the cat, this is the time to do it. If not, the cat will become suspicious if you start doing it all of a sudden.
3. Stroke the cat, around the head and neck especially. Have the pill concealed in your dominant hand, i.e.,if you're right-handed, in your right hand. Only use the butter or chicken fat if this is the second attempt with the same (slightly used) pill.
4. In one smooth motion, holding the cat's head and top jaw in your non-dominant hand (left hand, if you're right-handed) pull the cat's head so its nose is pointing straight up, while with the other hand, pop the pill into the cat's mouth. Make sure it goes to the back of the cat's throat. The cat will gulp in surprise. The pill will disappear like magic.
5. If the cat has become alarmed at any point in the procedure, it's best to let the pilling process wait until the cat has forgotten all about it, usually within an hour.

Tips & Warnings

• If there has been any difficulty at any time while attempting to medicate the cat, do the procedure in a different part of the house every time.
• Wear long sleeves.
• It helps to have an assistant, but it's not absolutely necessary.
• If the cat fights you, let the little guy go on his way and try some other time.
• If you have a cat who is known to be dangerous, pay extra and have the vet pill the cat.