How to Recapture A Fathers Role in His Children's Future

Just like the commercial states, life comes at you fast. As little boys, we're taught to be tougher, stronger and better than the next guy. As we've matured, this early training, now deeply embedded in our psyche, tends to focus our priorities on winning and being the top dog instead of what's really important.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• kids and a little time

1. I'm a 43 year old father of two beautiful children and the other day, as we drove to the store, my son had something to say that was extremely urgent. From the back of the truck, I heard him excitedly say, hey mom, mom, mom, mom, I mean dad, where are we going? Sadly, his mother was neither with us or anywhere in the truck.
   
   Have you ever had this happen? It's a slap in the face.
   
   Suddenly, I was awakened to a reality that I wasn’t ready to face. I was a terrible father. I was so invisible, that my son thinks I’m his mother.
   
   Like all the mysteries of being a parent, and yes after ten years, I'm still waiting for my handbook, I tried to make sense of things. Of course, I made excuses, I'm a good father, I spend a lot of time with them.
   
   But as I thought back over the last week or even weeks, I didn't remember spending any one on one time with either of them outside of telling them to clean their rooms or do their homework. Obviously, my sons perceptions were right on the nose.
2. My daughter was born yesterday and today she’s ten?
   
   Yea, I realize life is busy, and probably like you, I focus on my career and money and we have too, but time and time with our kids is also very limited. You may think twenty years is a long time to have with your children but I'm already half way there. Before you know it, their gone and you're alone, never to have again what you have now. Embrace it, enjoy it and live it, for even though they may be a pain in the you know what now, they will be gone, way, way too soon.
3. Here is what Iam going to do.
   
   Go up in age but never grow up
   
   What do your kids like? Find out and do it whatever it is, these are the memories for the future.
   
   Don’t forget that you were once a kid, allow them to have fun and be crazy. I know you're getting old and cranky and patience are a little harder to come by these days but hey kids will be kids and you shouldn't want to and can't change that.
   
   Teach them manners but realize at 7, it’s hard to be quiet and not laugh. Remember, you used to do it just to make your parents angry.
   
   There’s always tomorrow for work, don’t ever miss a recital, no matter what. They will be looking for you and will be excited when they see you.
   
   Remember, they’re kids, don’t expect perfection. Don't expect them to learn the right way, right away. They need to be able to make mistakes and learn. Sadly, this won't happen overnight.
   
   Fathers, give mom a break, take the kids away for a day. Hey I know we need some time alone also for golf or football whatever, but the truth is, if Momma's not happy, no ones happy. Guys you know I'm right.
   
   When they say come check this out, don’t always say, wait a minute. Make them feel they're important and you will drop everything to come and help. There will come a day when they won't ask for help anymore.
   
   Tell them you’re proud of them and mean it. You are their hero and they look to you for acceptance, be that hero and mean it.
   
   When they’re young they want your time, when they’re older they want money. If you’re not around now, where will they spend the money later?
   
   Children learn what they learn by doing what they see. Teach them to laugh, teach them to love and show each one there differences are what makes them unique.
   
   All the best,
   
   Todd

Tips & Warnings

• listen and learn from your kids
• spend the time now
• time is short, don't waste it